tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post2406891381131691207..comments2024-03-21T14:41:14.622-07:00Comments on Graphic Firing Table: Doc Lawes and the L WordFDChiefhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10607785969510234092noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-31010163211178643482009-11-29T08:22:01.415-07:002009-11-29T08:22:01.415-07:00FDC,
Too many people settle -- of that, I am cert...FDC,<br /><br />Too many people <i>settle</i> -- of that, I am certain. Great pain arises from the knowledge that one is not with "the right" man or woman.<br /><br />I do not think Jim concedes that there are "true couplings"("I think that Jim does have a point in this: there are true couplings, based on the union of heart, mind and body. These are splendid, miraculous and (I suspect) very rare.") From the benefit of personal discussion, I believe he feels that marriage is merely a social compunction, and that such commitment serves no other function. He has stated, "If you are not going to have kids, why would you marry?"<br /><br />I would love to hear his (or anyone's) take on the discrete phenomena he lists (love/sex/body). Coming as most Americans do from a Christian background, he may see true love as possible only in a chaste and unpracticable sense. Much like Elvis with his once-beloved Priscilla, once connubial relations have been entered, the bloom is off the rose.<br /><br />He and others of his mindset would, however, subscribe fully to your second graph, enjoying the multiplicity of ways in which to scratch the itch, sans "the prison" of marriage. I would call them jaded.<br /><br />I, however, am boring like you, and feel the only way to find true pleasure is by entering into an honest union based on mutual trust and admiration. There, one might find transcendence. To me, the rest is mechanics.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839236994990699117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-21999957228358862522009-11-28T23:32:46.225-07:002009-11-28T23:32:46.225-07:00Lisa: I think that Jim does have a point in this: ...Lisa: I think that Jim does have a point in this: there are true couplings, based on the union of heart, mind and body. These are splendid, miraculous and (I suspect) very rare.<br /><br />Other couplings are the matter of the moment, and are meant to pass the time, to relieve boredom, or loneliness, satisfy curiousity, explore possibilities, or just scratch some clitoral or penile itch. While not contemptible in and of themselves, they are and can be at best a friendly, transitory intimacy.<br /><br />The problem comes when you HAVE to confine your exploration, or curiousity within a socially sanctioned and officially blessed union. Those miraculous joinings on all levels are difficult and rare: many of us can't wait for that wonder, and "settle". And then we mess up, stray, cheat, lie...and, as you point out, make things worse by trying to blame someone or something other than our own base natures.<br /><br />I'm with you that one thing that would help would be the open acceptance of various approaches to intimacy. Polyandry...why not, if all the participants are consenting? Homosexual unions? Communal groups? I have no idea what the limit of human inventiveness is - we're ingenious little monkeys - but I find it hard to believe that it is any more limited in our carnal endeavours.<br /><br />But call me boring - I like the idea of finding someone I can love with all my heart, embrace with all my mind, and pleasure with all my body...FDChiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607785969510234092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-30911796455890064322009-11-28T11:52:59.095-07:002009-11-28T11:52:59.095-07:00FDC,
Very well argued. It is simple: "If yo...FDC,<br /><br />Very well argued. It is simple: "If you want sexual fidelity, you need to ask for it, and if the one you love can't or won't promise it, you have two options; find another partner or live with his or her promiscuity." Likewise, if in relationship and intending to leave that presumed monogamy, say it.<br /><br />Much as you find those who want it both ways less respectable, so I find those who cannot responsibly claim for their promiscuity, and instead foist their straying off as the failure of the unwitting partner, who was too (Fill in the blank: <i>parochial, demanding, whatever.</i>) And it is that lack of responsibility which is ironically engendered by religious dogma, which expects the One Correct Way.<br /><br />If alternative lifestyles were not societally disdained (like, the soldier who could claim for being bi- or gay, etc.), then perhaps these painful relational discoveries might not have to happen.<br /><br />We could never exhaust the multiplicities of ways in which people relate, but I do believe some of the more aberrant structures arise from lack of honest coupling and the search for increasing stimulation in lieu of true connection.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839236994990699117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-73898326077872395632009-11-27T23:29:45.817-07:002009-11-27T23:29:45.817-07:00Jim, Lisa: Here's my take on the whole love/se...Jim, Lisa: Here's my take on the whole love/sex thing.<br /><br />I think that human evolution has generally developed around a pair bond. There's LOTS of counterexamples, but the strength of the family structure seems to be reflected in the many different cultures, religions and ethnicities that have adopted it.<br /><br />But the benefits are primarily social, and evolutionary. The problem is that sexual fidelity is not as predictable or as tameable to custom and conubiality as the outward trappings, the oaths and promises that Jim mentions.<br /><br />People like variety. Many of us grow stale doing the same thing every day. If many a plowboy has run off to follow the drum, even knowing how dangerous and foolish the choice may be, how many other young men may choose to, shall we say, plow a different furrow (or be plowed by another) than the one they're supposed to?<br /><br />This is where, to me, the notion of human decency and honor and honesty come in. If you want sexual fidelity, you need to ask for it, and if the one you love can't or won't promise it, you have two options; find another partner or live with his or her promiscuity.<br /><br />Likewise, if you find that you are "irresistably" tempted, you owe it to your current paramour to go to him or her before you go about placing totem poles in donut holes and make it clear that you no longer feel bound by your promise.<br /><br />I respect an honest man or woman more who says "No, I won't stay with you; I'm yours as long as it lasts and no longer." more than the one who tries to have it both ways, to stay with their promised partner while getting some on the sly.<br /><br />Religion, OTOH, is less about love and committment than control. Religions typically use human needs, like love and sex, to reinforce their commandments and bind the practitioners to the authority of the Church. So the religious prohibition against things like adultery make little sense in light of human nature (and even less in light of theological discussion - let's not forget that in Genesis the "sons of God came in unto the daughters of men" (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+6%3A1-8&version=KJV), so even the holy ones get some on the side...FDChiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607785969510234092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-90156313427249589192009-11-27T15:04:23.226-07:002009-11-27T15:04:23.226-07:00FDC,
I revisited that previous post and enjoyed i...FDC,<br /><br />I revisited that previous post and enjoyed it once again.<br /><br />Your assertion is simple and reasonable: "keeping your common sense and dignity - and your partner's - instead of becoming an utter idiot ..." This stands, whether the transaction is a monetary one, an ephemeral one, or for the long haul. Dignity and common sense assure a reasonable outcome, at least reducing strife.<br /><br />It seems Ranger is confusing the overlay or religion and societal contracts with your very simple human suggestion. Dirtiness or cleanliness, formal commitment or no, doesn't enter into the level of discussion we are having.<br /><br />Contracts are formal constructions which have a place in civil society, but have little bearing on the actual quality of the relationship so sanctioned. If one sees sexual relations as dirty, that is a neurosis or a result of buying into dogma (a form of neurosis, some would argue.)<br /><br />Neither contracts nor religion can save you if you do not understand the essential qualities necessary for a dignified and respectful relationship, which presupposes dignified and respectful individuals.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839236994990699117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-82191919124684587252009-11-27T13:09:58.189-07:002009-11-27T13:09:58.189-07:00FDChief,
I need to clarify. Oaths and promises are...FDChief,<br />I need to clarify. Oaths and promises are just great but they have no evolutionary or biological purpose. They exist to raise offspring in a safe place, but genetically this may not benefit the species. If you doubt this then look around.<br />All i'm saying is that religion has taught us that the body/sex are dirty but somehow become God's devine will and plan for us as soon as we render a promise.<br />Bullshit.<br />BTW- Happy holidays to you and yours.<br />jimrangeragainstwarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02126542922536584950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-91425653286508731852009-11-27T10:43:30.559-07:002009-11-27T10:43:30.559-07:00FDChief,
I jest gotta quit watching Jerry Springer...FDChief,<br />I jest gotta quit watching Jerry Springer.<br />Just today i was thinking he should go on the road and call it the JS Roadshow and visit all our neigborhoods.<br />jimrangeragainstwarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02126542922536584950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-54593469402383840202009-11-25T22:29:10.747-07:002009-11-25T22:29:10.747-07:00We had this discussion back in '08, remember?
...We had this discussion back in '08, remember?<br /><br />http://dlgellar.blogspot.com/2008/04/mars-and-venus-ugly-truth.html<br /><br />We're not "stupid" - we choose to BE "stupid". And, sadly, our paramours often encourage us to be "stupid".<br /><br />And by stupid I mean concentrating on genital friction to the exclusion of common sense and integrity.<br /><br />I understand what you mean by the difference between love and sex, Jim, but what I'm talking about is even simpler than that; it's keeping your common sense and dignity - and your partner's - instead of becoming an utter idiot when the scent of aroused genitalia thickens.<br /><br />You'd think that even the feeblest amoung us could remember a couple of simple rules: Keep your promises. Don't lie. Respect yourself and her. Money is fungible, sex - and love - are not.<br /><br />And yet the fools and their fooling are all around us...FDChiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607785969510234092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-37060384273236468922009-11-25T12:14:31.554-07:002009-11-25T12:14:31.554-07:00Chief and Lisa,
Both of you are buying into the Ch...Chief and Lisa,<br />Both of you are buying into the Christian/judeo concept of love/sex/body disconnect.<br />The little Tunnel Rat makes no such distinctions.<br />jimrangeragainstwarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02126542922536584950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-55746242125663638262009-11-24T13:30:02.345-07:002009-11-24T13:30:02.345-07:00It really escapes me, this concept of two, non-int...It really escapes me, this concept of two, non-interfacing operating systems in men. The more juvenile I know (even the elders) follow the mantra, "more is better". Discrimination, as in discernment, does not seem to enter the picture. <br /><br />Why does quality control not take the reins? I know this behavior is not unique to men, but it does seem to reside more prevalently there. <br /><br />I know the old biological argument for spreading one's seed far and wide, but I do not know if I buy that today. Certainly I will not deny that testosterone is a powerful motivator, but shouldn't maturity raise its head after a certain point?<br /><br />I do not know that our governing class has any dibs on this behavior. Alas.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839236994990699117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-7686938383843904942009-11-24T03:33:07.571-07:002009-11-24T03:33:07.571-07:00Jim: I aims to please.
Lisa: Ta. I thought you m...Jim: I aims to please.<br /><br />Lisa: Ta. I thought you might.<br /><br />As for our male foolishness, this may be because of the size of our Small Brain, which does our thinking for us when matters of concupiscence are concerned. But those of us whose Small Brains fail to gain some degree of prudence with age remain Young Men through senescence. We're just Old Young Men.<br /><br />This failing appears to be concentrated among our governing class, IMO.FDChiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10607785969510234092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-1160583662419575312009-11-24T01:07:55.016-07:002009-11-24T01:07:55.016-07:00I love this story :)
But you mustn't bedaub o...I love this story :)<br /><br />But you mustn't bedaub only one group: "Young men are foolish. This is the reason for ... nearly all [of the world's] venereal disease." <br /><br />Do not underestimate the foolishness of old men, and their careless behavior. We might hope for the sapience of age, but it sadly is not guaranteed. Many age sans maturity.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839236994990699117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31246093.post-64153837432602897652009-11-23T11:10:36.305-07:002009-11-23T11:10:36.305-07:00FDChief,
You are an absolute hoot.
That's a so...FDChief,<br />You are an absolute hoot.<br />That's a southern thang.<br />jimrangeragainstwarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02126542922536584950noreply@blogger.com