Cool Things in North Portland: Rose City Rollers

Okay, so their home is really down in chi-chi Sellwood.

But with their punk/goth girl chic, their tats, their muscle-T's, Portland's Rose City Rollers flat-track roller derby skaters are right at home here in North. They like all the stuff we like: good beer, hard shots, and seeing a sweet young thing from the Shithole on the Sound get slammed down on her Starbuck's-bloated ass!!My buddy Brent and I took in the Wheels of Justice - Portland's all-star team - take down the Rat City Rollergirls tonight at the famed Portland Expo Center.

It was good, loud, low-down fun for us voyeurs. But I want to say for the record that as a recreational ice and in-line skater, I came away flat-out amazed at the skills both teams displayed. In particular Portland's #357, who skates under the name "Rhea Deranged", was incredible; strong enough to fight over, quick enough to skate past, and agile enough to slip through the Seattle blockers. You da woman, Rhea!

Funny thing is, I was in high school in Chicago in the late 60's and early 70's when the old banked-track roller derby, real Kansas City Bomber stuff, was popular enough to be on the local UHF stations and draw genuine crowds. It always seemed to me a sort of female pro wrestling, and I thought of it, when I did, with a certain mocking contempt.

But the rollergirls out skating tonight were in no way contemptable or faking. They skated their asses off - and, speaking of that, Portland #9, you are my queen, and the way your use your backside is a pure poem in black pleather - and put on a great show. If you haven't had the chance, try and find your local flat-track venue and go cheer for your local rollergirls. They'll give you a hell of a fun evening.

And you da woman, Mojo, for staying with the kidlets to let me have a fun night out. I owe you, and payback is tomorrow. I love you, my own Kansas City Bomber.