Friday, April 06, 2007

I am SO going to Hell

So...let's say (and why not) that you have no religion. You're churchless. Agnostic, atheist, godless, heathen, vile apostate...you have no faith. No god. Your devotional intensity has expired. It's an ex-religion. It's pining for the fjords. Get the picture?

Now let's say (and, hey, why the hell not) that your have an adorable toddler son, the light of your life, who has heard about Easter candy, Easter baskets, Easter egg hunts, and wants some of this gooey, rich, chocolatey Easter action for himself. And he asks you what the heck this Easter thing all about. What's with the candy, boss?

And...let's say (since we're just being hypothetical, here, right?) that you take a moment to look down into his fresh, bright, innocent face before explaining that it was this day, many, many years ago, that the Holy Bunny took the sins of the world onto His furry head, was crucified, died, and was buried, and on the third day will rise from the grave an Undead Savior, a Zombie of Love, and fly to Heaven scattering candy eggs for all the Good Little Children.

Would it be possible that you would be preparing yourself a Special Seat in Hell's hottest Barcalounger?

Oh yeah.

So I might as well face the fact that I'm sharin' Hell's rumpus room with these guys...

2 comments:

walternatives said...

Looks like you'll be with interesting company - I'll probably see you there, too.

atomic mama said...

I need to locate a chocolate Jesus. Quickly. Take that Bill Donohue!