An Open Letter to Randall Terry and Friends, from The Devil

Dear Randall, and my dear Christian fundamentalists;

I don't know what to say about the recent sudden 33% reduction in doctors willing to treat a woman with a horribly damaged fetus or other dangerous complications of late-term pregnancy that Fred Clark and Doghouse Riley haven't already said better.

Or at least more eloquently.

What I can say is this.

Religion, and religious speech, or speech that is uttered in houses of worship, or by people who profess to have a special affinity for God, is and are accorded particular deference. It is seldom disputed, even more seldom refuted or mocked, by your fellow Americans.

By contrast, lack of faith, or A faith, or, worse, an open dismissal or contempt for religious sentiment is treated as a best a lack, at worst the sort of grievous moral failure that can and should prevent the holder from being elected to public office, teaching the young, or providing care for others from the troubled to the dying. And don't get me started about the way they treat MY worshippers...

Now I will be the first to admit that I am somewhat...unchurched. And that I usually consider religion at most a pleasant diversion that keeps credulous and gullible people occupied who would otherwise spend the time they spend in worship and worship-y activities in irritating or angering me. And I'm usually pleased to accept the credit for most human mayhem and malfeasance.

But not this time. Not this time.

This cowardly little man, who I will not aggrandize by naming, was actuated not by Me, or by the human emotions of lust, fear or greed, but by the promptings of your religious groups, and you religious people, people who have filled his and others' heads with the idea that Dr. Tiller was the moral equivalent of a Nazi SS death camp kommandant, that his actions - though medically critical for the survival and health of the grieving mothers (and no mother who has lost a baby that late could be anything but grieving) - were deserving of death.

Of course, the very churches and pundits and bible-wallopers who have ginned up this Crusade against Abortion (as if the completion of pregnancy was a sacrament right up there with communion and repentance, although Jesus himself in the Gospels speaks nothing about abortion and little about birth) will platitudinously deny that their thunder from pulpit and television had anything to do with this murder. They will blame me, wattling with anger that any of the Godless will dare to connect them with this conscienceless thug, while at the same time uttering mealy-mouthed half-praise for his deed as a "heroic but misguided" act of saving the unborn (superbly unmindful of the words of the apostle Paul, who wrote "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19).

And, as always, those of your fellow Americans who don't share your fanaticism but respect your "faith" will nod sagely and sadly, and let you pass. Again. And the war of words - and bullets, bombs and hate - will continue. Because you are People of Faith! People of God! Good People! Your hands may be bloody but your hearts are pure, right?

So. Now I have some words from your God (You may have heard that I'm partial to quoting Scripture? Heh. True.) They are these:

"For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in; naked, and you covered me; sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me." Then the just will answer him, saying: "Lord, when have we see you hungry, and fed you; thirsty, and given you drink? And when have we seen you a stranger, and taken you in? Or naked, and covered you? Or when did we see you sick, or in prison, and visit to you?" And in response, the King shall say to them, "Amen I say to you, whenever you did this for one of these, the least of my brothers, you did it for me." (Matthew 25:35-40)

After I helped boost your Christian brother Bush up to spend eight years as King Shit of Turd Hill, we heard a lot down here from you Jesus Jihadis about Abortion.

And public prayers.

And Ten Comandment plaques, Gay Marriage, Evil Islamic Terrarists, and America the Holy Bible Christian Nation where athiests and lib'rels and homos and heatherns were unfit to sit at the table with the Elect.

But y'know what we didn't hear so much from y'all?

Feeding the hungry.

Clothing the naked. Taking in the stranger. Visiting the prisoner. Comforting the sick.

So I'll make you a deal, a Deal with the Chief of all the Devils.

When every last, every single fucking, swinging-dick hungry American is fed by your hand. When every goddam stranger in this Strange Land is safe and encompassed, every last prisoner given hope, every nit-picking, phlegm-coughing sick person given loving care and tender rest.

Then I'll be willing to listen to our abortion shit with a straight face.

Because until then, my Real True Christian brothers, each and every one of you is just another phony, lying, canting, hypocritical sack of shit. And, what's more, I know that most of you won't stir a finger to help. Most of you anti-abortion zealots will travel across the country to protest Rove v. Wade, you'll bus across town to scream in the ear of a terrified 19-year-old running into Lovejoy Surgicenter, but you wouldn't cross the street to help a hungry derelict to a soup kitchen.

And I'm laughing, for I know what your buddy God has planned for your sorry asses:

Then he shall also say, to those who will be on his left: "Depart from me, you accursed ones, into the eternal fire, which was prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you did not give me to eat; I was thirsty, and you did not give me to drink; I was a stranger and you did not take me in; naked, and you did not cover me; sick and in prison, and you did not visit me."

Heh.

I'll be seeing you. Soon, I hope.

Very truly yours,

The Devil(A Proctor & Gamble Corporation. Visit us on the Web at http://www.churchofsatan.com/!)