Friday, February 27, 2009

Curse you, Red, Vile, Murderous, Islamofascist Scum!

Okay, from the sublimely sad to the ridiculous.

The last post made me check Facebook. I find that a friend has been going completely berserk be-fanning various bands and has even written a note asking what were the 10 albums that changed your life.

Okay, now I have to admit that for me music is pretty much background noise. I LIKE music, listen to a fair bit, played in orchestra and sang in chorus...but music has never touched me for more than a moment or two. For me it's ephemera, whether it's stirring, moving, lovely, disturbing, motivating. I can listen to "Don Juan's Reckless Daughter" or the 101st Airborne Division song or Cuban son or a bunch of monkeys playing the 5-gallon bucket drums. I get a little chill listening to Madeline Peyroux do "Dance Me To The End of Love", but I got a little chill listening to the damn marching music they used to play over the loudspeakers on Ardennes Street during PT, too. I'm a musical moron.

So, being naturally a moron AND a smartass, I left a comment on the note that the only album that changed my life was The Royal Guardsmen's "Snoopy vs. The Red Baron", and that's because I was nine and it was my first vinyl. Which, of course, prompted my squirrel mind to go to Wiki and check to see if that was, in fact, the name of the album (I knew it was the name of the song). It was.But that wasn't all.

Seems that our Guardsmen have updated their oevre for the Global Phony War on Terror.

So, without further ado, and with trembling horror, I give you "Snoopy vs. Osama"
Key: E
Words: Francis John Burdett
Music: Barry Dean Winslow

"Out in the desert in a real bad land
Some people want to see the end of man
Al-Qaeda took over from the Taliban
Terrorizing all they can.

Now Snoopy's in the motor pool but wants to fight.
He wants to keep his friends all safe at night.
Charley drives the Bradley an' Snoopy makes her sing.
Waitin' for the orders just to go do their thing.

Osama Bin Laden keeps runnin' away.
Snoopy's gonna find him one of these days.
And when he does...(and when he does)...
ya know we're all gonna sing;
Good bye Bin Laden and the end of your terrorist ring.

When the orders came down, they were short one man.
So Charley asked Snoopy "would ya join the band".
It's off to the hills and follow the map.
Just get Bin Laden don't ya take any crap.

Headin' down a pathway when a bomb blew up.
The tank was out of business an' ol' Charley was hurt.
Snoopy said to Charley "you just sit tight,
I'll fix everything it's gonna be alright."

Then up ahead in a cloud of dust.
Stood ol' Bin Laden just lookin' at us.
Snoopy smiled and aimed then he fired his gun.
TAKE THIS Bin Laden now you won't have to run!

Osama Bin Laden won't be runnin' away.
Snoopy finally found him and this was the day.
He took him out...(he took him out)... now the world can sing;
Good bye Bin Laden and the end of your terrorist ring

It makes me want to find Osama's cave and surrender to the sonovabitch to prevent the RG's from going further with this...My love's been baby is a neoconservative centerfold..!There's a CD that may just have changed my life..!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I appreciate your J. Geils ref, Chief. Ah, that really is too much re. the Royal Guardsman. Is nothing sacred...