Monday, August 12, 2013

Vibennius' Revenge

I know, I know. You're thinking, what, has this sonofabitch just wandered off an left the damn blog? Has he up and died, like the poor dude over at Bats Left/Throws Right?

No, and no.

It's just that I don't really have anything to say at the moment on the subject of politics that isn't a profanity-laden rant full of vitriol and bile. The Great American Parade of Stupid seems to be endless, and I see how ranting on this blog will change that. Seriously. I can repeat "Ceterum censeo GOP delendus est" until Michelle Malkin hooks up with Te-Nisi Coates and it will do absolutely not a goddamn thing to change the central reality of my country's politics which is that the "conservative" of the two parties we allow ourselves has gone completely, utterly batshit crazy, gobbling on about Agenda 21, death panels, and deficits while half the country is out of work, living in the back of their Ford Fairmont, and scrounging meals off the Salvation Army.

So. I can't write about politics.

Battles? I've got a piece on the strategic aspects of the Stalingrad campaign I'm working on for the "Battle" in August, but that's a couple of weeks away.

Personal stuff? Domestic bliss? I've had little or no time for pondering the majesty of a Northwest summer what with work and kiddos and you can't possibly want to hear about either one. I don't have any really cute or interesting stories to tell. I have been getting worked up about our local women's soccer team but the product of that is on display over at my soccer blog Slide Rule Pass; gauging from the pageviews you could give two shits about my love affair with Thorns FC...

And speaking of pageviews that's really the other factor.

I don't want to write this blog for pageviews. I'm not Slate (thank God...). This is just a place for me to entertain myself, get whatever writing I have out of my system, and talk to the small group of people who come around to visit. But...

The reality is that it's the "Battles" pieces that are about the only thing that about 95% of the visitors here come to read. If you looked at the stats you'd see that the only posts with more than 100 pageviews is either a "battles" piece or something connected with p0rn, like the one with the Tom of Finland picture as the illustration. Ah, Internet, you ARE for p0rn, aren't you?

Almost every other post has less than 50 views; most of them much, much less, typically somewhere between 10 and 20 views.

So I'm pretty much talking to myself here.

So frankly, unless I have something to say there's no real point in talking.

My mother used to say that if you didn't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

Since I can't seem to come up with anything, then, instead let's go to a man who knew how to write when he wanted the venom to positively drip from his pen.

Take it away, Brother Catullus:

A Suggestion: to Vibennius

O first of the bath-house thieves
Vibennius the father, with sodomite son
(since the father’s right hand is dirtier,
and the son’s arse more all-consuming),
why not go into exile, to some vile place?
Seeing the father’s pillage is known
to us all, and the son’s hairy arse,
you can’t sell for a farthing.


Now THAT's poetry.

9 comments:

BigFred said...

Miss you Chief.

Brian said...

I check your blog almost every day Chief! Your Battles articles are incredibly well written and researched, but I have found so much else to read in your blog too - I really liked reading your reminisces about military life in the "Stripes" era Army, your writing about your children, and of course the political rants. Anyway, don't think you're just farting in the wind, you are read and appreciated.

Leon said...

I have to correct your Latin with my dime-store Latin chief.

You currently have "GOP esse delendam" which translates to:

'GOP to be (infinitive) destroyed (feminine accusative)'

Now I think we can agree the GOP is anything but feminine. I would translate it as:

'GOP delendus est'

At least according to my 6wk Latin that I got out of a cereal box.

FDChief said...

Still around, guys, just trying to come up with something interesting to say. I'll get there, just might take some time...

Leon; having little Latin and less Greek I had to simply substitute "GOP" for "Carthago" in Cicero's famous epigram. I admit to not thinking about how that might change the declension of the verb. I stand corrected...

Syrbal/Labrys said...

Chief, we have a book of Latin insults and profanities.
My favorite is the imperitive voice one telling whomeever (in this case the GOP) to go fuck themselves.

After all, they've already fucked the rest of us!

basilbeast said...

I would respectfully disagree, Leon. "GOP" is an "it", a "thing", a neuter that has no sense about it.

ERGO, "GOP delendum est".

Our poor host, blessed/cursed with not one, but two Latinists.

I got the news of doghouse riley from Tbogg at FDL, and Charlie Pierce also wrote about him. A heart attack, from what I gather, and the fellow being a dedicated cyclist.

"et in Arcadia Ego"

More bad blogging news, but not tragic as he is still alive and I hope he stays that way for many years, is that Tbogg is greatly diminishing, if not totally stopping, his bloggy output.

His pixilly pen Bis every bit as pointy as Catullus'.

bb

basilbeast said...

Don't know where the "B" came from . . . "is as pointy".

And lest there be confusion

"GOP delendum est"

"GOP delendum'st"

"censeo GOP delendum esse"

bb

BigFred said...

Almost every day, Chief. Although the Nazi/Boob post made me stop checking from work.

Leon said...

Dangit, I stand corrected. Mea Culpa.

And Chief, make that 1.25 Latinists. Like I said, mine came out of a box of Cheerio's. I'd learn Greek but I'm not sure if e-Blogger can support those characters.