I've been following this little treasure mostly as a way of checking on the credulity and stupidity level of voters in the Portland metro area, and the final readings of the Moron Meter are now in.
First, on the issue of fluoridation of Portland's water supply, a bizarre coalition of looney Left and looney Right defeated fluoridation because...well, because fluoride isn't natural. God alone knows what these people - about 85,000 of them, by the way - think about pasteurization, immunization, the Germ Theory of disease, and quantum mechanics.
At least we're safe from those goddamn polio monkey serums.
I should note in passing that there are about 446,000 registered voters in Multnomah County, Oregon. And this election was, like almost all elections in Oregon now, done by mail. You didn't have to devote any time or effort to it. You opened the envelope, filled in the little ovals on the form, stuffed the thing back in another envelope and shoved it in the mailbox.
Only about 36% of the electorate - about 160,000 people - even bothered.
But aside from the usual non-interest in the election the real red light on my Moron Meter was pegged to these two guys:
First was a gomer named Lasswell who was running for a position on the Multnomah Educational Service District. Leaving aside the actual role of and value of the MESD, the part that caught me about this guy's ad in the Voter's Pamphlet was is complete and utter incompetence for anything relating to education or any other sort of political administration, for that matter.
The giveaway was his observation about how he was gonna do to the MESD what he'd done in the city of Anfal when he was a'servin' of his Country in Iraq. Because, as we all know, an impoverished Third World city rife with sectarian strife in a former Ottoman province now devastated by war is exactly the political equivalent of the Multnomah Educational Service District.
This goop got 25% of the vote.
Got that? This means that of the some 93,000 people in Multnomah County engaged and motivated enough in the political process to register AND to actually vote in this contest, one in four - 23,382 theoretically-sane individuals - were equally unable to make the same distinction Lasswell could not, between a smashed city in a Muslim state in the Third World and the educational administration of a mid-size American city.
One in four, people. One in four.
But wait; it gets worse.
This goof, name of Morrison, a genuine full-on, rubber-room, unapologetically whackadoodle bull-goose looney whose only issue as a reason for running for Portland Public School board was because WiFi makes your brain all funny (and I tend to agree that someone's brain was all funny here but not that WiFi had anything to do with that) got 18.7 percent of the ballots cast.
Almost 19 percent. Of the people who are probably in the uppermost quintile of engaged and politically aware and socially motivated citizens in the People's Republic of Portland. Nearly one in five. 12,165 people - more than were in the crowd attending that Thorns match I went to watch Sunday.
Voted for a complete and utter tinfoil-hat-grade lunatic.
You can say that, well, fine; the "process worked". The loonies lost.
But think; these are people who shouldn't have gotten anyone's vote. Lasswell, yeah, okay, maybe a handful of people who liked the idea that he was an ex-GI. But Morrison? For fuck's sake, people, the man is certifiable. Around the bend. Ripe for a canvas sportjacket with wraparound sleeves. And yet more than twelve thousand of you fuckers voted for him!
And then you complain about how we can't have nice things.
This is why, people. This is fucking why.
Because a critical minority of you will vote for absolutely goddamn anything no matter how idiotic.
Think about it; if almost one out of five of the most well-informed, motivated, and civically-engaged people in a nationally-known hotbed of social progressivism and intellectual liberalism will vote for a lunatic who is mumbling about electrical radiation melting his brain what the hell is going on out there in places where they think people like Limbaugh, Imhofe, Palin, and Bachmann have a functioning cerebrum?
Jesus wept.
We Are So, so, so, SO Fucked.
8 comments:
I was wondering when you'd comment on the Portland fluoride issue. We'll have personal teleporters and flying saucers and there'll still be idjits who're against fluoride because of UN mind control and black helicopters.
Thing is, Leon, it wasn't so much the opposition to the fluoridation. There are legitimate questions about the benefits versus the costs of fluoridation of water versus topical application of flouride.
What drove me crazy was the sheer volume of woo-woo goop about "natural" water (as if Portland water wasn't treated with chlorine among other chemicals), the resurgence of the old, odd Bircher nonsense, and the misuse of studies long since rebutted or poorly applied. It was the methods, not the objectives, of the anti-fluoride groups that drove me nuts.
My feeling is that you are welcome to your own opinion even if it is largely unsupported by facts. BUT you're not allowed to have your own facts, and you have to acknowledge that your opinion IS contrary to the facts so your opinion can be accorded the weight it deserves...
Frankly, though, the 12,000 votes for the PPS nutter worry me more than the fluoride. At least there are some un-nuts reasons for not wanting fluoridation. But voting for this lunatic..?
Well, take comfort that your mayor doesn't smoke crack.
I prefer fluoride to chlorine myself, I'm allergic to chlorine! (Thank goodness I am on a well!) But yeah, the last couple years up here? The voters booklets make me check the cover for legitimacy because some of the stuff inside is waaay outside of rational belief!
I mean...last year? Some dude was calling it "Mothership Earth" in his screed of why to vote for him.
I couldn't disagree more. The many votes for morons - as well as the low voter turnout - are proof that things are just fine. Bread is on the table, peace is in the streets, and thus we have the luxury of being stupid and indulging in ridiculous conceits. You yourself write often and at length of the happiness of your life. The system is working so well for you that you have the time to complain about idiotic failed candidates on the computer. If things were genuinely bad there'd be a lot of meaty political struggles to engage in. I for one am happy that there are not.
On the other hand, one implication of your criticism of the recent idiocy is that, given all this peace and wealth, we should be building an even better world. I agree, but I have no idea of how to go about doing that, nor do I know of any sensible plans for global utopia. Lacking a greater goal, I'll till my garden and wage peace with my neighbor.
Leon: No, my neighbors and fellow voters are smoking crack - that's WAY better..!
Swanditch: I'd agree to a point were the WiFi-nutter-voters just staying home on the couch. But the're not; they're actively doing something that - had enough of them followed suit - would have caused us actual harm here in our own small patch.
While I do feel like I can't do much about the "big picture" political life of the U.S. - I don't have enough money or power to fight, say, Monsanto or Goldman Sachs - I CAN affect my local conditions. And one way is to make sure I campaign against and don't vote to place harmful idiots like Republicans and this WiFi looney in positions to harm me and mine.
So my irritation with this is that these 12,000-some people weren't just avoiding a political battle, they were fighting with their votes and on the wrong - immensely wrong, looney-tunes-wrong - side.
Syrbal: I accept that there will always be a level of looniness in our politics. This WiFi dude pushes the envelope, though.
I feel cleaner having read this.
"This goop got 25% of the vote.
Got that? This means that of the some 93,000 people in Multnomah County engaged and motivated enough in the political process to register AND to actually vote in this contest, one in four - 23,382 theoretically-sane individuals - were equally unable to make the same distinction Lasswell could not, between a smashed city in a Muslim state in the Third World and the educational administration of a mid-size American city.
One in four, people. One in four.
But wait; it gets worse."
I love this state and moved here sight unseen from the east in 2005. I do include the Multnomah voters in my prayers since they inevitable rescue Oregon from the Dark Side of Ignorance.
Your post reminds me that these voters are as prone to error as anyone. (READ the voter guides!)
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In PA. AT%T hated flouride because it contaminated wafers. Am I now to believe the dental health of this community was sold out to craft brewers? What I'm certain of is the Birchers are wingnuts and commie plots are what they live for.
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