In case you didn't quite get what all the singing and dancing was about, it's an ad for something called a "vaginal rejuvenation" gel called 18 Again. The product website claims that:
"18 Again is very effective for tightening of the vagina. Along with tightening, it provides vaginal rejuvenation, improves strength and grip of the vagina, helps prevent infections, encourages natural lubrication, masks foul odour, reduces involuntary urine escape, improves blood circulation, delays effects of ageing and keeps the vagina healthy."I have to say that this is perhaps the weirdest commercial product I've run into since the crotch-bleach stuff (which was also an Indian thing...is something going on in Mumbai that I'm just not getting..?) and the damn adult wet-wipes that got your beaver more wood or something.
I mean, thinking about this in a sort of cold-bloodedly sexual fashion I get how the whole "happiness is a tight pussy" pitch these people are making for their product could work. It plays into the human obsession with sex and bizarre ways to make it bigger, faster, harder, and better. When you think about it this gloop isn't all that much different from the old Johnnie Holmes pecker-pump gimmicks you used to see advertised in skin mags or skeevy scandal sheets.
Not to mention the subject of a gajillion jokes like the one I used for the title that got ol' Earl Butz canned.
(And just as an aside, now there was a deeply evil Republican bastard. We'll get back to him in a bit, I promise...)I can see how people would buy this stuff.
But below the surface there just seems to be something deeply...wrong...about the whole idea of this goop and I can't quite put my finger on it.
Is it simply the usual lazy human nonsense of expecting a magic cream to do magic to your body instead of hard work? Buying a magic belt instead of sit-ups? Buying magic pills instead of laying off the cupcakes? Buying magic goop instead of patiently doing a whole bunch of Kegel exercises?
Or is it the other usual lazy human nonsense, the masculine nonsense of treating a woman like a product that has a sell-by date and is useless after that, worthless until she's "eighteen again", tight and taut and virginal?
I don't know which is sadder.
But I know the whole business makes me shake my head just like the ginzo-bleach and the dingus-wipes.
Sometime I think human beings are the strangest goddamn monkey on the whole goddamn island.
Sapiens, my ass.