Thursday, April 09, 2015


One hundred and fifty years ago today the longest sustained episode of treason against the United States came to an end.
I'm gonna go all out here; I think it's high time to actually win that battle.
As an aside, my mother taught elementary school in Virginia in the nineteen fifties. It was just her luck that she - a native Floridian but a national traveler in a time when very few people moved from their birthplace and someone who really thought of herself as a Yankee from New York State - had to teach the War of the Rebellion to her sixth grade class. Her memory is that it was eight weeks of Southern leaders, Southern heroes, and Southern victories with a couple of days at the end where the unpleasant defeat and occupation were breezed through. She says she completely understood her students who were shocked to find out that their state had lost.
Now I'm not going to go all Brian Beutner on you and suggest that this day be designated a national holiday. That seems a trifle past-the-sell-by-date and unlikely to succeed given the current GOP tongue-bathing of the ideals of the old Confederacy and the Articles of Confederation theory of governance.


I'm all in with him about the idea of renaming the goddamn military posts named after people who fought and killed American soldiers.

And there's a pantsload of 'em. Bobby Lee? Braxton Bragg? John Bell Hood? George Pickett? George Gordon? All those treasonous sonsofbitches have an Army post named after them.

The argument you'd probably hear is that "They were fighting for what they believed in!" to which I'd say; "The fuck. So were fucking Erich von fucking Manstein and Isoroku fucking Yamamoto and you aren't suggesting we name an Army post or a Navy base after them, are you?"
After which you'd probably hear "But they were great leaders!" To which I'd say "A. P. Fucking Hill."
Historical Note: A.P. Hill, one of Bobby Lee's sorriest corps commanders, was an overpromoted cockup who couldn't figure out how to work battlefield tactics if he had been handed a goddamn large-print field manual and a copy of his enemy's situation maps. He did well arriving to help prevent disaster at Antietam but screwed the pooch at Fredricksburg and at the first day at Gettysburg, again at Bristoe Station and again in the Wilderness. Later in the war he was usually too sick to command but still managed to step on his poncho from time to time. He also got the clap at West Point, which I'm not sure to credit him with as some sort of bizarre achievement or add to his long string of fuckups. He was such an ardent traitor that he committed the Civil War version of "suicide-by-cop" on the first day of April, 1865, riding into the Union lines so as to ensure a picket blew him away and thus ensuring that he couldn't screw up anything in the remaining nine days of war. Anyway, if anyone tells you that the Southern forts are named for "great leaders"...there he is.
So let's clean the slavery traitors out of the Army's house; let's rename Fort Bragg after the Rock of Chickamauga and Fort Gordon after Bill Sherman (since the one in Panama is now called Coco Quako or something...).
And why the hell don't we have an Army post named after George Marshall?

Anyway, Happy Victory over Treason In Defense of Slavery Day!


Ael said...

I think you are pushing on a rope, Chief.

I mean, so many people got killed, there has to be a great justification for it. Otherwise they all would have died in vain.

In Canada, it makes no sense to fight European wars. Les Habitants had it right to sit out far away wars. Instead, we have poppies every November, a city named Kitchener, large cemeteries in France and war memorials in every town.

It *had* to be worth it.

FDChief said...

Thing is, it's one of the few wars that the U.S. ever fought that had anything close to a "worth it" attached. Wrecking the slave system - tho I'll be the first to admit that we SHOULD have been smart enough to do what the Brits did and just outlaw the thing and use the bailiff's men rather than kill a couple of hundred thousand people - and destroying the spike that slavery put in this system of government was as worthwhile an objective as any men have fought for. No war is "good". But some can be "bad", and the Southern "cause" was possibly one of the worst that men have fought to defend.

The losers of the American Civil War were the Nazis of the 19th Century and deserved to have the sort of bell hung on them that the Nazis did. There should no more be a "Fort Hood" in the U.S. Army than the Heer of modern Germany should serve in a Reinhard Heydrich Kaserne.

This ain't ever gonna happen because all the wounded Rebel fee-fees and the GOP fee-fee strokers. But it should.

Anonymous said...

I always found it tiresome that posts were named after southern generals. I find all that crummy faux-nobility "the South will rise again" shit utterly repugnant.

One reason I locked my (Bloody) Kansan heels and told the man to say "Hell, no" when we were offered Ft. Bragg as a final PCS move coming back from Germany to what would in all likelihood be his/our retirement base/home.

Our post? Named after Meriwether Lewis, thank you very much!

FDChief said...

Yep. I'm very pleased the we don't have any of those Reb-named posts here on the Left Coast. Like I said; if the South wants their Army posts named after Southern officers they can take George Thomas and Monty Meigs and all the Hoods and Picketts can fuck off home...

FDChief said...

We did, apparently, have some Rebels!

Ael said...


It was only *worth* it if you fought for the winners. If you (and yours) had fought for the losers, it would be extremely difficult to ever accept that all that sacrifice was not just in vain, but less than that, it was in support of evil. So much blood and for less than nothing!

Simply unacceptable. Inconceivable even.

Therefore, the poisoned fruit of the civil war twists American civil society permanently. And you have a wound that never heals.