Wednesday Random Ten: Kid TV

1. The reality of life in 21st Century America is that unless you live in a yurt, have the emotional and intellectual steadfastness of Marcus Aurelius or your offspring are less visual than mine, if you have a child you will encounter Kid TV. This morning I was blogging and thinking about the pre-daycare-tantrum to come and what we do in the mornings when the Peeper and I both wake up. We have a big sippy-of-milk-with-a-valve-all-the-way-to-the-top (coffee for me) and eat our toast (pop-tart, sometimes, for Himself) and cuddle on the couch. And often we watch "something good for me" which usually means a cartoon.

2. There's my fave up on top: Kipper. I think you'd like Kipper , too. He's quiet and thoughtful, in his cartoon doggish way. He has little adventures with his friends Tiger and Pig and is kinda the sort of cartoon person who, if he was a real person you'd probably enjoy spending the afternoon with just hanging out doing nothing in particular. Do people still do that? Peep likes Kipper when he's in a quiet mood - which is a lovely time for me because it's so rare. He's really sweet and huggy when he's quiet.

3. I've talked here before about Dora. Her giant cartoon head scares me, and several of her cartoon aspects are entirely too screechy and/or irritating (and yes, I'm talking about YOU, "Map"...) The Peep enjoys Dora but doesn't actively seek her show out. We'll watch it when it comes on if we're looking for "something good for me"...

4. Diego is one of Peep's favorite cartoons, which I've discussed at length earlier in the blog. Both Dora and Diego are relatively parent-painless (except for the fucking Map)

5. "Meteor and the Mighty Monster Trucks" is purely a Guy Thing. We love Meteor and watch him every morning before daycare. All the stories tell little lessons about stuff like friendship, honesty and caring. But we really watch it because we like to see Junkboy get all dirty. Peep and I, we like our trucks dirty.

6. I have nothing to say about the Berenstain Bears except "The horror! The horror!" It seems like this cornpone nightmare gets inflicted on us every time we watch PBS's "Good Night Show". My loathing for this has become a family joke, with Peep insisting we watch it so he can enjoy my groans of "No! Not the Bears! Anything but the Beeeaaaarrrrsss..!"

7. The funny thing is that the GNS exposed me to Peep's first crush: he luuuurves him some "Nina", the ectomorphic hostess of the show. Who, I admit, is pretty cute, and how cool is a kid's show host who does yoga? And since in PeeperWorld two people can't like the same thing (that is, if the Peep says "I like diesel engines" then I can't like diesel engines, I have to like steam engines, or hotcakes, or something...) I have to like Star. In fact, the person I really liked was Melanie, Nina's predecessor. Melanie turned out to be a very smart, articulate young actress who was canned for making a funny commercial suggesting that teaching kids "abstinence" was as useful as encouraging them to have anal sex so they wouldn't technically lose their virginity. And you thought that KidVid was all cartoon animals and things that blow up!

8. OK. Get real. How many 4-year-old boys would want to follow the adventures of a cartoon mouse ballerina. Not to mention that Angelina whines, like, all the time. Worse than friggin' Caillou. Nah, nobody whines more than Caillou. Michelle Malkin, maybe.

9. Scooby Doo. OK, how wierd is it that your kid is watching and enjoying a show that YOU watched and enjoyed when you were a kid.

The Scoobster hasn't changed, and the jokes are still just as dumb and the "ghosts" and "monsters" just as silly. The animation sure is better, and as the picture at right shows, the Scooby Gang has been slicked and updated for the 21st Century. But Shaggy and Scooby are still gluttonous cowards, Fred still stalwart, Daphne still heroic and Velma still cute n' nerdy.

Which, BTW, brings back the most divisive question of my adolesence: Daphne or Velma: hot, or not?

I was and am a confirmed Velmist: she's totally hot in a geek-girl, Janeane Garofalo-way. But the Daphneites have sound arguments, too.

Let's face it: a four-year-old could care less. But that's the Daddy's job - to guide little feet towards a proper manhood, to nurture the little fellow into an appreciation of geek-girlhood (and -womanhood) and the understanding that knee socks, a pleated skirt and baggy sweaters are the epitome of feminine coolness.

10. I hear the stirring of little Peepers and mommies. Time to go to work - see you again around here later in the week.

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Update 6/21 p.m.: well, Mojo reports that we did have the monster tantrum about going to daycare, so daddy will have some discipline issues when we get home tonight. At least the whole "I want a toy every minute" whining is getting less constant. And - for the record - I am in complete agreement with wzgirl (see comments) re: the New Velma - smokin'!! Love the new hair - and the glasses? You're a knockout, kid.