Saturday, March 28, 2009

Cool Things in North Portland: Rose City Rollers

Okay, so their home is really down in chi-chi Sellwood.

But with their punk/goth girl chic, their tats, their muscle-T's, Portland's Rose City Rollers flat-track roller derby skaters are right at home here in North. They like all the stuff we like: good beer, hard shots, and seeing a sweet young thing from the Shithole on the Sound get slammed down on her Starbuck's-bloated ass!!My buddy Brent and I took in the Wheels of Justice - Portland's all-star team - take down the Rat City Rollergirls tonight at the famed Portland Expo Center.

It was good, loud, low-down fun for us voyeurs. But I want to say for the record that as a recreational ice and in-line skater, I came away flat-out amazed at the skills both teams displayed. In particular Portland's #357, who skates under the name "Rhea Deranged", was incredible; strong enough to fight over, quick enough to skate past, and agile enough to slip through the Seattle blockers. You da woman, Rhea!

Funny thing is, I was in high school in Chicago in the late 60's and early 70's when the old banked-track roller derby, real Kansas City Bomber stuff, was popular enough to be on the local UHF stations and draw genuine crowds. It always seemed to me a sort of female pro wrestling, and I thought of it, when I did, with a certain mocking contempt.

But the rollergirls out skating tonight were in no way contemptable or faking. They skated their asses off - and, speaking of that, Portland #9, you are my queen, and the way your use your backside is a pure poem in black pleather - and put on a great show. If you haven't had the chance, try and find your local flat-track venue and go cheer for your local rollergirls. They'll give you a hell of a fun evening.

And you da woman, Mojo, for staying with the kidlets to let me have a fun night out. I owe you, and payback is tomorrow. I love you, my own Kansas City Bomber.

9 comments:

Lisa said...

I keep reading about the bevy or quirkiness in Portland. I guess your roller derby is part of it all.

I think it's great that the girls with that killer instinct have a healthy outlet.

Anonymous said...

We do not actually drink Starbucks up here on your "shithole-on-the-sound". We just sell it to the rest of the country and to tourists.

FDChief said...

I stand corrected about the Starbucks. But in re: the Colossus of the North, I retract nothing. Better dead than green, I say. A bas, Emerald City!

mike said...

Ahhh - the sweet smell of jealousy is especially good when it comes from Stumptown, polluter of the Willamette and the mighty Columbia.

FDChief said...

Hey, we LIKE the way our rivers smell.

WAY better than most of rural Clackamas County, there the deer and the meth cooks roam.

Still, I'd rather be a toothless tweaker in Moalalla than the richest barista in Tuckwila...

The Wanderers' Daughter said...

Heh! Gotta love the rollers.

As for starbucks, they have my number. Though I'm not proud of that fact.

I'm sorry that spring carries that brand of pain for you. Spring ought to be a time of rebirth...but we all have our crosses to bear, and our individual forms of rebirth...and that's as it should be. We are not sheep. At least I hope not.

FDChief said...

WD: Thank you for your kindness.

And I have to admit that I like a cup of Starbucks' from time to time.

It's the Pike Place Pesthole I abhor.

FDChief said...

Baaa...

srv said...

Took in one of the Bay Area teams last year at Kezar Auditorium. Quite entertaining, and reminded me of the 70's derby events.

All fun, except for the coach fights. A pair of gray-haired grandmothers throwing each other around is just, well, kinda freaky.