Sunday, March 01, 2009


I hope it rains today.

Because every spring I wait for the first day of March dreading the sunshine and an early spring. Because her birthday, seven years ago today, was an impossibly lovely day, radiant, flower-filled, fecund with promise and the future.

And everything that bloomed that day, down to the most transient and fragile petals, would live longer than she did.

So once again, goodbye, little love. You will remain forever locked in my heart and mind one day old, the oldest you ever grew. Already so many have forgotten you! Our friends don't speak of you, our families don't whisper your name sadly even on this day of all days when you should be remembered...

I want to shout your name in the street; Remember her! Think of her at least once, today, the day she was born and died! Remember!

But they will forget, and your memory will grow faded, and finally only your mother and I will remember the little girl who lived so briefly, who passed so quickly, who ran on the tiny fleet feet that never learned to walk but which carried you swiftly, so swiftly from darkness to darkness.

Bryn Rose Gellar 3/1/02-3/2/02


walternatives said...

I'll be thinking of you - of Byrn - today.

Aviator47 said...


As is the custom of the Orthodox Church:

Memory Eternal!



Red Sand said...

I will be holding all of you, including Bryn, in my thoughts today.

The Wanderers' Daughter said...

Oh, my, you completely brought me to tears with this post. I didn't know this story, except what you've eluded to. We were just talking about loss today, and about how much more inconceivable it is now that we know a parent's love - because there is nothing to compare to a parent's love. It's larger than the expanding universe.

mike said...

My condolences! I have to believe that had she grown older she would have done you proud with her wit, wisdom, and charm.

March is also when my baby brother died when he was just a few hours old. I was only nine years old myself and it did not sink in at the time. Forty plus years later when Mom passed away, I found his birth certificate in her papers with some pressed roses and I bawled like a baby.

My daughter was the one who got me to focus on the fact that Mom, her Grandmother, was an amazing woman to have survived such a loss and still be capable of giving the kind of love and commitment that she gave to all the rest of us. She didn't shrivel up and give up.

Publius said...

Memory is indeed eternal, buddy. She never really dies so long as you keep her memory alive.

You're in my thoughts. My best, always.

Dee said...

Our thoughts are with your family today.

wzgirl said...

Hugs, you. xo

Beeb said...

I'm sorry her memory is fading for your friends and family, yet the hole she left in your hearts still bleeds. Grief is that way.
Holding you in my thoughts.

chris said...

thinking of you and your sweet bryn today. thanks for sharing the photo.

FDChief said...

Thank you, all of you, for your kind words and most of all for your thoughts of our lost girl. We got through our difficult day better than I had feared; a combination of loving family and good friends helped immensely.

Thank you.


Anonymous said...

That struck a chord, and I don't even have a child (yet).

My condolences.


sheerahkahn said...

"Bryn Rose Gellar 3/1/02-3/2/02

Wow, what a pretty name!

I have a different view of death, so I'm not very good at this sort of thing Chief; but if I were there I would buy you and yours a pitcher of your favorite beverage, and listen to your recounting of those fleeting moments.
Such a pretty name.

Lisa said...

I am sorry for your pain, and your loss.