Once you were the darkness that consumed the center of my heart. Once I would have given everything to have you back, to change time and regain you.
But not any more. I know your mother feels very differently, but you lived beneath her heart for almost a year, and she loves you in a way I can never do.
For me you are a memory of a hope, hope for a future that was lost the day you were born. To have you back, to have that future back would mean that I would have to give up my today. Give up all the ten years since, give up your little brother and sister, give up the woman who I loved and who has grown to became the woman I still love, give up myself and the man I have become.
That seems too much for me to ask, and yet in a far corner of my heart I feel like that you're dying again because I would refuse to ask for it if I could.
So all I can do is grieve for you, my dear, and for me; for the world that never was, and now never will be.
Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawnsBryn Rose Gellar March 1 2002 - March 2 2002
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.