Take a memo, Astaroth...

Dear Pat Robertson;

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating.

I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake.

Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,

Satan

(not original, I know, but too funny not to repost. What IS it with this guy? H/T to "Alterdestiny" and the original author, Lily Coyle in the great city of Minneapolis.

17 Seconds

Assuming that this video is playing in real time, the shaking in Haiti lasted at least 17 seconds, possibly longer.That's a LONG time. Two critical things that affect building collapse during earthquakes is the time of shaking and the "period", that is, the frequency with which the ground moves back and forth, up and down, or a combination of both. Seventeen seconds is a LONG period of shaking. Again to put this in perspective, Loma Prieta 1989 shook for about 15 seconds; San Francisco 1906, for between 45 seconds and a full minute.

These poor bastards were utterly hosed.