Showing posts with label you kids get the hell off my lawn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label you kids get the hell off my lawn. Show all posts

Monday, November 14, 2022

Nice try, slick...

 

One of the people I worked with at my last job ("last" as in a week or so ago, mind...) apparently just went to the HR department and - according to my ex-chief-engineer - "threatened" to quit.

Now. This person may well be the single most appalling individual I've ever had the misfortune to work with. He's surely the worst I've ever had work for me.

He's a toxic combination of 1) illiteracy (his daily reports are unreadable, and the thing with these is they're nearly 95% pure boilerplate - you just copy what the go-by says and change the location and date - and he'd been given the go-bys within a week of his hire and shown how to use them. Didn't help; his stuff read like it was written by someone whose English was their third language), 2) obliviousness (which is deadly in his job, which is to be the engineers' eyes and ears on the jobsite, so he is supposed to see, hear, and record everything that happens...), and 3) a bizarre creepy/nasty personality (one of his other coworkers used to refer to him as "school shooter" and remark that if anyone shot up a Safeway or elementary school in his home town we'd know exactly who was responsible...)

He had the annoying habit of disappearing; he lives more than an hour from the central Willamette Valley where his job takes place so it's not like you could drive around and knock on his door. When he'd ghost on e-mails and phone calls and texts? He was unreachable.

You can imagine how well that worked with scheduling.

When the chief engineer told me about this "threat", I replied:

"How could (name of dirtbag) "threaten" to quit? You can "threaten" to quit if you're a critical employee who has skills your employer will find difficult or impossible to replace. If you're a tech and in grossly incompetent one, at that? The only reasonable response to your "threatening" to quit would be a sincere goodbye and wish for success at your next career at Jiffy Lube."

Apparently HR responded just so, and the gomer handed in his two weeks' notice. Good riddance.

I tend to be unsympathetic to the chorus of job-creators whining about how nobody wants to work anymore. No, they want to work just fine. Just not at your shitty job for shitty pay under shitty conditions.

But.

I gotta admit, I've been seeing some pretty goofy hires lately.

Maybe it's my old outfit; I'm not sure their hiring-fu is strong. But I wonder...this guy. The dude who quit before him who wasn't creepy and incompetent but just dumber than a bag of hammers. The other dude whose literacy was even more precarious than this goofball and who quit just ahead of getting canned...

Meanwhile the great people this outfit brings in leave, largely because the work is grim; endless brain-destroyingly dull development construction work, spending hours a day watching dirt move and arguing with people who tell you to believe them and not your lying eyes.

But this guy...wow. That's really special.

I think I'll make sure I go to Oil Can Henry's next time instead.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Banners

Did you know that the City of Portland has a flag?

Yep. Here it is:Here's the thing about this version of the Portland flag; it follows all the "rules" of vexillology.

It's simple - just two lines or bars crossing with a diamond in the juncture on a green field. The pattern of the crossing bars mimics the junction of the Willamette and Columbia Rivers that dominate the Portland region. It uses no more than about three or four colors, doesn't use "lettering or seals", which the flag gurus consider too busy and fussy, and while it is distinctive it's bars and stripes are similar to the stripes of the American flag.

So by the ideals of people who "do" flags, the present Portland flag is just about perfect.

But...I don't like it as much as I liked the older version:Don't ask me why. I just like the '69 version better than the '08 version.

Yes, I know that it has the fussy little City of Portland seal in the canton, a big vexil-no-no. There's just something about that little bit of fiddly archaeism that pleases me. I LIKE that it has the Portland seal complete with Portlandia commanding her teeny little ships and plows.

But, then, I'm the sort of person who likes the old-school Prussian regimental flagsBECAUSE of all the fiddly little details - the crowned eagle, the scrolls with the battle honors, the various rays and flames and royal cyphers all over. I like fiddly details of that sort. They satisfy me immensely.

I like the fact that our Oregon flag has different images on different sides, and, yes, I like the fact that we have lettering AND our seal on the obverse:and our mighty Beaver on the reverse:(and we're the ONLY state that does this, perverse creatures that we are...) And I take an equally perverse pride that the vexillologists consider ours something like the 3rd worst state flag in the U.S. I have no idea who rates below us; probably somebody like American Samoa or Guam. I like the fact that the professional flag-wavers hate us for our dorky, fussy, un-vexillogical untidiness.

Not long ago the World's Worst Newspaper ran a contest to design a replacement for our vexillologist's-most-hated flag, and here it is:Does that or does that not look like the sort of thing that would win a newspaper design contest? All simple primary colors with the simple cartoon beaver minus his beloved log, and even a little star because...well, I have no idea because why. Because...stars are special or a reference to the Star-spangled Banner? Who knows? To me it looks perfectly idiotic.

Call me a curmudgeon, then; I like the little fussy touches on my city and state flags; in the archaic and unprofessional symbols you can see the people who came before us and their love of busy detail - living reminders that flags that stand for real people and real places are as imperfect as the people who create them both.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Post-Electoral Musings

It's Friday at noon and I'm sitting at my desk rolling dirt worms.

Seriously.

I'm actually working on a soil laboratory test called an "Atterberg Limits" which helps define the classification of a silt or clay soil. It's an odd sort of procedure based, so far as I can tell, on backcalculating from empirical data which once prompted a biologist girlfriend of mine to exclaim (about soil engineering) "You...you people aren't really scientists at all, are you!?"

Anyway, rolling dirt worms is the sort of repetitious, meditative process that lends itself to woolgathering. Adding the Internet to the process simply provides streetsigns for the sheep. So over the course of the past several hours my mind has traversed quite a distance.

I started over at my friends' place; they have been hopping around like a kindergartner with a pantsload of soda pop since late September when they were referred a pair of rumbustious little two-year-old twins from Zhengzhou in Henan Province. Well, they finally received their Travel Authorization ("TA") yesterday, meaning they could be holding two little wrigglers by Thanksgiving.

Now that's a good reason to be Thankful! So, congratulations on a another step closer to diapers, pillow fights, head colds, warm, wriggly little boy hugs, tantrums, night terrors, breathlessness from running, sticky kisses, tears and the quick beating of a little heart on your chest.

And I thought a little about China, and by connection the world, and - since the election is still in my forebrain - the changes I hope to see in the way my country deals with the rest of the world...and what that means for us here at home.

I think I mentioned that my candidate for the Oregon seat in the U.S. Senate was a guy called Steve Novick? Well, he lost in the primary to the man who eventually defeated Gordon Smith, Jeff Merkely (yaay!). But here's a good example of why I liked Novick. Here he is talking about the challenge facing the Obama Administration (doesn't that have a nice ring to it?) on the financial - and probably soon, fiscal - crisis:
On the federal budget, the key facts are: Defense, Social Security, and Medicare and Medicaid (combined) are each about 20 percent of the budget; earmarks are less than 1 percent; interest on the national debt is 8 percent; and most of the rest of federal spending is for things such as education, transportation and veterans' benefits. That means we can't balance the budget merely by cutting a few things that everybody dislikes. Ending the war in Iraq tomorrow would make a dent but still leave big deficits. Serious efforts toward fiscal responsibility will require things such as cutting the defense budget, restraining rising health care costs and raising some money.
Read the whole thing - he talks terrific sense on budgets in general, and my thoughts are: what the man said. The loyal Bushies have spent eight years getting us into the perfect cleft stick: now, more than ever (with consumer spending dropping like a paralyzed falcon and unemployment rocketing off the pad) we need direct Keynsian stimulus; the very reason that governments run surpluses in good times. But we don't HAVE a surplus; the stupid bastards pissed away money like a Korean B-girl buying herself champagne cocktails with your bar tab.

And, at the same time, the usual suspects will be clamoring about Obama's plushie softness on terrorism and war in general. Despite the fact that we spend a monstrously idiotic amount on war toys the same talking heads who have parroted the Bushie's insistence on shovelling cash at what my friend the Ranger calls the "Phony War on Terror"

Bottom line: China does not have to be our enemy. Even if they become one, the present generation of weapons in our arsenal are more and again sufficient to stick a finger in the eye of the PLA. To continue to pretend that defense spending is somehow sacred and untouchable is the sort of foolishness that made the Bushies so...foolish. I hope Obama's crew has the sack to wield a firm blade in slicing back the ridiculous defense budgets.

What to do about SS and Medicare I dunno...

That made me think about my parents, and Mojo's parents; the first living in a comfortably self-prepared retirement, the latter hanging on barely between income and Social Security. What would happen to them without FDR's social insurance program I don't dare to think. Which made me reflect on the collapse of the GOP into the party of the rich, the holy and the caucasian.

In my youth my parents were what used to be called Rockefeller Republicans: socially liberal to moderate, fiscally and internationally conservative, the GOP of the 700 Club and Sarah Palin horrified them. My father and I talked yesterday and he recounted his meeting with a bunch of his old cronies in small town southeastern Pennsylvania. I think he and one other fogy are the only admitted Democrats out of a group of fifteen or so. Political passions had run so high that the group had forbidden debating the election until Wednesday. That morning when they gathered to discuss the results, of the ten or so Republicans who admitted their votes half had voted for Obama.

I'm fascinated. I think the next couple of years will be enlightening; will the GOP continue to shrink to the Party of the Old Confederacy? Will they become the American equivalent of the Christian Democrats of Europe? Who will emerge to lead the Republicans out of the Bush despond?

Will Bible Spice run in 2012?

Hmmm...

From there back to adoption; how do you deal with a little girl who's a two-year-old and yet not a TYPICAL two-year-old?

Little Miss is developing a full set of Terrible Two reflexes. She wants what she wants when she wants it and will not take "no" for an answer. But she doesn't respond to "no" like the Peeper did - no tantrums, no screaming, no violence at all. Instead she just falls on the floor and sobs like Woodsy the Owl thinking about Love Canal (and no, you adolescents, that's not a porno. Follow the link, dammit. Am I the only Golden Ager on the Internet? And you kids get the hell off my lawn!!)

So how do you "discipline" a little person who just responds to any sort of restriction, no matter how gentle, with a FLOOD of tears? Where's the Dr. Spock of adoption parenting? Who's publishing self-help books for moms and dads with little ex-orphans?

In other kidlet news, here's the Peeper and his beautiful Thanksgiving Turkey.Is that an Impressionist turkey, or what? We had hella big fun doing that one; note the actual feathers for the tail, courtesy of the Oregon Department of Fish and Game pheasant that gave its life last September so that Pheasant Marengo might live...

Well, the worms have turned, and I need to go put them in the oven. Thanks for coming along on my mental detour.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Empire of the Senses

I bought a CD the other day.

Good disk - Suzy Bogguss "Swing" - her cover of "Comes Love" is a sexy, cozening treat like a wink from a stripper...

But it got me thinking about the LAST music I received, Madeline Peyroux's "Careless Love". I love the disk, love the thoughtful friends who downloaded it to me, and as much as I enjoy certain hard-to-get music, it made me wonder why I don't download more.

What I realized, as I thought about this, is that in some ways I'm a crusted old tawny conservative, and music is one of them. I actually miss vinyl albums; not for the sound (which was mediocre at best and a popping, hissing ugliness at worst) or the turntable needed to play them (a huge unmoving Slorg, brittle and cranky and fussy).

I miss them purely for the tactile enjoyment. The same way I enjoy CDs more than downloads; the liner notes, the photos and the odd pastiches the artists create to go with their music. The lyrics, helping me to understand that what Cindy Wilson says is "Tin roof! Rusted." and not "Hen-ry! Busted."All that and especially the cover art, an art form in itself. Some of the great moments in my past have been illustrated by great album covers.

So downloading's great. But I think I'll resign myself to being one of those irritating geezers, forever bloviating about how great the music used to be.

OK, not ABBA. Never.

But you know the story. Sad old bastard.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Out of bullets

I got back from a long day working downstate in Lebanon, Oregon (which is like Lebanon of the Cedars in the way that Hostess Twinkies are like rich homemade, lemon-y and creamy hummus) in time to catch the last ten minutes of regulation, overtime and the penalty shootout of the 2008 UEFA Champion's League final.What I saw was an "exciting" game, in that both sides had several good chances at goal in the short time I watched, and (much as I hate to admit it, not being a fan of ManUCorp) both sides played fast, flowing soccer or as fast as the present enthusiasm for rough, grabby play allowed.

And I have to admit that from what I saw the result wasn't unfair. Manchester looked the better of the two sides by a smidget.

But what it particularly reminded me was how much I loathe the awful lottery that is the penalty kick "shootout" FIFA has settled on as a way of deciding final matches. All season, and all game, teams have to stay focused, play hard and smart, show their skills and mastery of the game and all its aspects.

Until the end, when a rigged-up round of end-of-practice-time drills makes a crapshoot of the whole business.I'm too young to have seen one, but I know enough of the game's history to know that before the greedy hand of success closed around football's throat championship draws were replayed.

That's right. Played over again, whistle to whistle. All ninety minutes, full sides, giving the two teams another chance at actually deciding which side has the better of the other. No, it's not impossible. The English FA still replays draws in the lower stages of its Cup competition.

I know all the objections, yadda, yadda. They all come down to what's better for the TV network, the viewer and the "fan", who supposedly wants a "winner". But speaking as a fan it still seems to me that after playing their heart out that a team like Chelsea, losing in the crappiest of crapshoots, is damn hard done by and we should look to find a better way.