Showing posts with label soccer and life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soccer and life. Show all posts

Friday, February 03, 2023

The Rich People's Game

 

If you've been a follower of this joint for a while you've probably noticed that I'm a bit of a soccer fan.

And you'd be right; I've supported the local soccer clubs, the men's Timbers and the women's Thorns, since before the men were up in the Show and from the day the women started playing over ten years ago.

Plus I've been a Newcastle supporter for even longer - the Toon caught me back in the Shearer years of the 90's (I've never forgiven Ferguson and the ManU mob for stealing the crown in the 1995-96 season. Bastards.) - and so for the past thirty-odd years my life has been steeped in the Beautiful Game.

I'm a founding member of the "Axe Society", the season ticket holders from the Timbers' first big-league season in 2011.

I've stood and sung in the cold rain of October and the burning sun of August. I damn near tore out the walls of the cheap hotel in Medford, locked out of the playoff run of 2015 by a work assignment, during the insane 22-round-of-penalties "Double Post" game. 

 


I've been, as the tifo says, a Rain or Shine Supporter since the beginning of the modern Timbers era in 2001.

But no more.

Last year, with retirement looming and the cost of my season pass reaching almost $1,000 I gave up the place I've had in the Shed End for over twenty years.

And this season the club has moved its televised matches to the Apple+ streaming service...meaning that even to watch the Boys I'd need eighty bucks for the service AND another eighty for the MLS "Season Pass".

And that's without the cost of any single game tickets I might hope to nick off the spendy SeatGeek app. 

Look.

I get it. This is what I and you and all of us should expect from Late Stage Capitalism. Soccer is Big Money. Everyone in the game - players, owners, broadcasters, sponsors - wants a piece of the action. Nobody wants to leave a penny on the ground if there's cash to be made.

Here's the thing, though.

We. We, the fans, are the cow that's being milked. It's our wallets that all these people are hoovering, our support that's being mulcted to make the providers of the game a fucking buck.

And that's just getting real tiring.

I love this game. I love my town. I love our teams and I want to support them.

But it's getting real fucking old that every time I put my scarf on I turn around and there's another sonofabitch expecting to be hit in the palm.

I don't expect the Boys to play for free. I get it; it costs money to run a big-league team.

But.

It seems self-defeating to monetize every fucking aspect of the sport. It seems stupid to price everyone but the wealthy out of the "people's game".

Footy rose on the shoulders of the working men and women of England, Scotland, France, Argentina and Brazil and even here in the Americas.

But now?

When my beloved Toon is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Saudi oil sheiks?

When I can no longer sit down and enjoy seeing my Timbers struggle to a dreary midweek draw with the Houston Dynamo without paying Steve Jobs' heirs?

When it seems like the entire sport is sloshing with money yanked out of the people's pockets?

I just feel like Smokey the Bear standing silent as all the forest around me burns.

Monday, December 19, 2022

Cup Final

Meant to get back earlier, but Cedar and I were utterly waxed by the high drama of the World Cup Final...

Not my doggo, BTW; she's a friends', and a very sweet girl.

Anyway, yeah, the Final. 

I have a weird relationship with Argentine soccer. The Albiceleste are, have been, and can be, a magnificent squad that plays gorgeous, engaging football. 

I'm not exactly a Lionel Messi stan, but I respect the guy's skills and was vaguely happy that he finally got to the top step after all those hard years and disappointments.

At the same time, it's hard for me to get around the ugly things also associated with that blue-and-white kit. The Dirty War Cup of 1978 and the brutal chicanery that the junta put into ensuring that their team took the gold, including the shiking of another truly great side, the Clockwork Orange of Seventies Holland.

Then the second star in 1986, which is indelibly linked with one of the great and appalling characters of the game, Diego Maradona. 

His quarterfinal against England sums up my feelings about the Albiceleste; a moment of utter shame followed by a moment of unutterable brilliance

We're all a bit like that, I suppose; we can be thugs moments before or moments after being kind and gentle. The hard part is getting beyond the way we tend to save the kindness for our "own" and the brutality for "them". 

I'd like to pretend I don't share that failing. I do.

So it was with mixed emotions I watched the Argentine fans and their team celebrate, because I couldn't entirely forget the past to revel in the present. They had no such constraints, and that's what makes this game so compelling. It's the long, slow, grinding oppression of anxiety and fear as you watch your hopes teeter on the brink...

...and the sudden, wild, manic explosion of joy when they win...

...but with the lurking understanding that that joy is never completely free of the shadow of grief and loss.

Which is what gives the game whatever weight it has. It's a bit like life; sun and shadow, joy and pain, hope and fear.

Which, in turn, leads me back to what I meant to talk about this past weekend. But sufficient unto the day is this rumination on the import of a kids' game. I'll be back later to day to talk about what is bugging me about the goings on out in the unpaved parts of my crib.

Saturday, August 08, 2020

From the edge of the blast zone...

 The past several weeks have put me in strong mind of the images recently coming out of the coast of the Levant.

Because here I sit, quiet in the gray light of earliest morning, with my coffee and my hands lit by the phosphor-brightness before me untroubled by more than the usual reminders that my body has been here for sixty-two years and I have not treated it kindly.

My family are all still asleep...no, wait; I do have another early waker, the Big Cat, Drachma. He's our sniper-scout, authorized to roam the AO without specific direction, and he takes advantage of that with characteristic feline ruthlessness. His junior partner, little Nine, has too many physical issues for me to feel comfortable with that; she has to be "walked" during her much-demanded expeditions outdoors. 

Here they are together on the east deck:

You'll notice the craftily-synchronized tail-wagging. I'm informed that is likely to be proposed as a demonstration sport for the 2021 Olympics, assuming that my country is even capable by next summer of sending representatives.

Sorry. Got sidetracked by cats again. Damn critters, they're like that.

Anyway...my point is that the Fire Direction Center is a quiet place. 

My kids are poised to return to Virtual School in less than a month - Portland Public has decreed online-only until the new year - which as a former teacher and parent I find appalling but as a sixty-two-year-old highly unexcited about the possibility of one of my progeny returning from school with a massive viral load of the novel coronavirus am kinda fine with.

My Bride, likewise, is preparing to return to her job as Miss Debra, School Secretary (which, by the way, isn't nearly as fun as it might have been fifteen years ago. I'm not saying we've reached the post-roleplay stage of our sexual lives, but we have gotten to the point where "too much like work" is a genuine factor. Sorry if that's TMI, but, there you have it...) and seems to be willing to be cautious about it.

My job, while incorporating entirely too much boring grunt-level dirt-nanny bullshit work, is still here. My outfit seems to be managing to hang on to clients, and we haven't been seeing - at least, not yet - the shutdown or suspension of backlog work.

And I'm...okay. Getting out to do some of the things I enjoy, diverted by the return of Portland soccer, reading a crap-ton, exercising, trying to stay as healthy and mentally and emotionally sound as I can; this is from a recent nautical adventure on Columbia Slough, with the Bride as Pirate Queen.

The only personal drawback is my physician has ordered me to cut back to less than a single beer or dram a day and no more than four or five a week! - and that's cruel hard for someone who likes the drink taken as much as I do. 

I find I've resorted to finding bizarre beverages to sample in hopes that a single draft will be enough.

And, yeah, this one surely was. Ugh.

So from the promontory where I stand? Yeah, things are well enough.

And, yet, when I look beyond that, it's more like this:

The Senate Republicans and the White House - that is, the "governing" pieces of the GOP, if you can call governing what they do - have given up trying to keep to the inside of the fog lines and simply let the nation, the public, and the economy drive off a goddamn cliff.

There's no urgency. There's no plan. Except "it is what it is". At least the House Democratic caucus proposed something, a legitimately-WW2-level response to what is an extinction-level epidemiological event. The fucking GOP?

Nothing. Let them die, God will recognize his own. Apparently that's all we're gonna get from the Pary of Personal Responsibility.

The states and cities budgets are going to crater. The death toll is going to keep rocketing up. People - most people, I can't speak for MAGAts - aren't stupid enough to dice with Death if they don't have to; they're not going to flock into IKEA and Cracker Barrel and Spencer Gifts (are there any "Spencer Gifts" left anymore, outside zombie enclosed shopping malls..?) so restaurants and bars and little shops and businesses are going to collapse.

One of my favorite little soccer bars, the Toffee Club down on Hawthorne, tried to reopen under the "Phase 1" rules back in late June. Much as I enjoy sharing a pint and a match I had no interest in going maskless to share recycled air with random strangers in the Plague Year. I didn't go, lots of people didn't go...and so now they're closing again.

That's...very saddening.

And pointless. Utterly uneeded. For a tiny fraction of the money that went to Amazon and Yeezy and Untuckit this little bar could have kept playing until we have a vaccine or effective treatments, another year or two.

But, no.

And I won't even bother to discuss the baboon-assed jackanapes in the Oval Office. We all know that he's useless in this pandemic as a tampon in a typhoon, except to spread lies and bullshit and disinformation and propaganda for his BFF Vladimir. Oh, and golf. That may be his most egregious personal wrong; he's taken a game my father the Master Chief loved and was damn good at, a game I sort-of appreciated, and made me utterly loathe because of his ties to it.

So here I sit, watching, appalled, as roughly four of ten of my supposed-countrymen roar and bay and lust for this bloated fool, for this ridiculous abdication of responsibility and sanity, and while they do the supposed free press refuse to put their thumbs on these people - both the MAGAts and their tin gods, the Cottons and Mnuchins and McConnells and, of course, Il Douche - for that insanity and irresponsibility and stupidity.

And...so than, what? 

Vote? 

Sure as hell, yes I'm going to campaign and vote against every one of these sonsofbitches. Starting right here in Portland, where the combination of a worthless Police Bureau and the worthless Mayor who's humping them, need to go

But I live in safely Blue Portland. There's nothing I can to to stop the chucklefucks in Cornhole, Texas and SisterWife, Tennessee (with the help of Trump's people and the GRU...) from inflicting this lunatic graft and corruption and plutocracy and stupidity on me and my family and my Blue Portland for another interminable four years.

It's maddening. It helps me understand rebellions and the construction of guillotines; when the rulers and their partisans show they don't care if you live or die, well...then it becomes you or me, jack, and I'm gonna make sure it's you if I can.

But...all I have is a vote, and a voice, and a keyboard. 

(And, if it comes to that, an old bolt-action rifle, one magazine, and 120 rounds of ammunition, so let's hope it doesn't come to that.)

And that's arrayed against millions of moronic MAGAts. Fox "News". Page after page of bothsider Quisling press. The fucking GRU! The weight of the Executive Branch, the Senate, and the Supreme Court.

Even if Trump loses in November - and even if he concedes without him and his MAGAts picking an actual physical fight, which I am thoroughly unsure they won't - all those other noxious weeds will remain, determined to choke with religion and racism and oligarchy what I had thought were the growing trunks of the Trees of Liberty; secular science, equity, comity, equal justice under law.

Much of the time I feel like Smokey the Bear, clinging to my smouldering and shuddering Cascadia douglas-fir, alone at the top of the ridge, whilst all around me all the forests in the nation are burning to the ground.


Monday, February 10, 2020

Sniper!

Emily Sonnett of the U.S. women's national soccer team demonstrates a perfect backflip-tuck-and-roll in the opening minutes of the second half of the Olympic qualifying tournament match against Canada.
Sonnett played centerback here in Portland for many seasons, and was a player who consistently frustrated me because she would play 89 minutes of great, technical defending and then would undergo some sort of brainfart or mental holiday and make a ridiculously massive derp. She did this as a rookie - which is fine, you're a rook - but kept doing it all the way up until she was traded in the offseason last autumn.

Obviously I hope the Thorns pick up a solid CB who won't take those little mental rest breaks to replace her. I won't miss the tooth-grinding frustration of those derps.
What I will miss is...well, Sonnett.
In the oh-so-serious world of professional sport she's a genuine goof, a real character; funny, playful, silly, endearing...I have NO idea what she's like as a person (other than possibly one of those people who you adore while driving you nuts with their antics) but as a player-character she's just fun.

And she had the best, the very best, faces.
You never have to guess what Sonnett is thinking. Whatever it is, it light up her face like a good deed in a weary world.

Dammit, Sonny...now you've made me go all sentimental over you. Good luck in Orlando.

Except when you play Portland, of course.

Sorry. But there's love, and there's soccer; it's not life and death. It's way more important than that.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Falling Timber, Green Shoots

I've been working out of town steadily for the past several weeks, so my home life has been reduced to weekends.

The only problem with that is that, when I get home...I don't want to just sit at home.

My Bride, dearly as I love her, doesn't have "get-out-of-the-house" sorts of interests. She likes to sew, and she is part of one of our local rowing clubs. She loves "binning", going to the infamous GoodWill Bins that I wrote about back on '09. And re-arranging the living room furniture.

My kids have videogames (for the Boy) and crafts, stories, and all sorts of creative fun (for the Girl).

But I like to get out a bit.

So this morning we loaded up the car with wife and kid and friends-of-kid and drove up into the Coast Range, into the Deep Woods, to the annual "Blessing of the Log", the ceremonial Choosing of the douglas-fir Pole that will serve the Timbers soccer club's lumberjack mascot as a tally for goalscoring and goalkeeping (when a Timber scores - or a Timbers keeper keeps a clean sheet - the lumberjack saws off a slice from the log, a tradition going back to the Seventies).

The day was cool and damp but not raining, and the roads were quiet all through the farmlands that cling to the west edge of the Tualatin Valley and up into the wooded hills of the Coast Range. Dark firs and bare maples dripped steadily as we passed through the Sunset Corridor, as the state calls Highway 26 that is named for the old 41st Division of WW2.

I have been this way many times and it has changed very little in the almost thirty years I have lived here. The clearcuts wander about, appearing suddenly where a stand of heavy timber was the winter before, then gradually blurring away as the new crop of future dimension lumber, plywood, and paper pulp grows over the bare hillsides rugged with stump and slashpiles.

An early stop for coffee and cocoa help quiet the drive out to the morning's meetingplace at Camp 18.

As I was writing this I looked back through the GFT archives and discovered to my surprise that I have never really talked much about this joint. It's...well, it's a fascinating mashup of genuinely worthwhile roadside attraction, good restaurant, and kitschy tourist trap.

The building itself is a treasure, a huge log cabin complete with enormous single-tree ridgepole and massive old-growth timber front doors. The huge stone hearths help take the chill off a winter's day, and the food is plentiful and savory. If there's anything my Girl appreciates it's a good tuck-in, and she and her pal Lulu got around the outside of a hell of a lot of eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and the immense cinnamon rolls that the Camp is known for.

After the breakfast - and a visit to the gift shop and a stroll around the old logging equipment that serves as part of the museum to the old life in the Coast Range woods - it was time for the annual Blessing of the Log.
This event is the ceremonial start of the Timbers' soccer fan's season. A piece of a raw douglas-fir log donated by one of the local timber companies (this year it was Hampton Lumber of Willamina; thanks, guys!) is brought to Camp 18, where an assembled group of fans, and their friends, kids, and even their pets troop out into the chilly morning to offer up their hopes for the coming year. One of the song leaders - the capos - leads the group in the "blessing"...

"May your home be strong of beam,
Firm of wall and rafter,
Built with Timbers from a dream,
Girded well with laughter.
May your home have a winding stair
With a lovers landing,
Windows to let in fresh air
With the light of understanding.
May your home have a roof of faith
For every change of weather
And love upon your hearth
To warm your years forever."


...that concludes with a roar of "Go, Timbers!"

That was enough for my kiddos; they weren't prepared to stay longer and plant trees so full of lumberjack breakfast and companionship our group returned Bob the Subaru through the wooded hills and spitting rain back to Portland again; the kids to their busy-ness, my Bride to a nap, and I to a quiet afternoon, dreaming dreams of future glory.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Playing off

Did I mention that my beloved Timbers won the Major League Soccer title this season?


Oh, yeah. Sorry.

So I've walked around just slightly pleased this entire December because of this, and I just realized why because I watched Rog and Davo talking with the lovely and intelligent Rebecca Lowe on Men in Blazers last night.
Turns out that the Lovely Rebecca is a Crystal Palace supporter (see the little stuffed eagle on Davies' shoulder? That's "Kayla", Palace's eagle mascot). She was talking about the distress that Manchester United fans are feeling this season even though the Scum are within the top half of the Premiership table and in a position that fans of other, more mundane, (read: Palace) clubs would normally consider supremely enviable.

But that for ManU fans this is anything but. The Red Devils have been losing and drawing, not scoring, and generally looking moderately crap for much of the 2015 campaign, and this gives the over-accustomed-to-success-ManU-fans huge, huge sadz.
Lovely Rebecca's observation was that this was because these overprivileged mamzers were, in her words, "forced to face Life", that is, Life as the Rest of Us have to live it; full of disappointments, failures, heartbreak, people we love who like us "as friends", movies starring anyone ever appearing on American Idol, nonalcoholic beer.

And that hit be right between the eyes because the story of a Portland Timbers fan has been failure for nearly 40 years.

The original Timbers came oh-so-close, going to the old NASL "Soccer Bowl" championship match in 1975 but losing to Tampa Bay.
Between that year and last month the closest the Timbers ever came was...close.

We won the old USL in league play - winning the "Commissioner's Cup", the regular season record - in 2009 but proceeded to shit the bed against the damn Vancouver Whitecaps. We won the Western Conference in league play in 2013 but failed to beat Real Salt Lake for the conference playoff.

That's kind of been the "Portland Story"; win regular season games, go to the playoffs, lose.

Until, two years ago...

The Portland Thorns had a fraught season in 2013. Starting the season ripping out five wins and a draw the Thorns were top of the table in the middle of May. But by mid-June the team had slipped down to third of eight. In August the team lost two, drew one, and won one, nearly dropping out of championship contention.

Portland went to Kansas City to play the Blues - who had split the season series 1-1-1 with them including a home defeat in August - and shipped two goals in the first thirty minutes. The team looked beaten and out of ideas.

But some of the players refused to lay down and die. Tobin Heath scored just after the half hour. Christine Sinclair finished a brilliant run dishing to Tiff Weimer who scored just past the hour mark. And Allie Long drove the nail in 18 minutes into overtime.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, impossibly, for the final 210 minutes of the 2,190 minutes the Thorns played in 2013 the team played like...well, champions. They crushed Western New York in the championship match to win the first NWSL title.


The storyline of this Timbers season is freakishly similar.

At the beginning of October the Timbers stood in seventh place in the MLS Western Conference, out of playoff contention having lost a gutting 1-nil home decision to Sporting Kansas City. The team had scored only 31 goals in 31 games.

They were out of the Open Cup. They had finished behind both Vancouver and Seattle in the Cascadia Cup.

It looked like lights out.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, impossibly, the Timbers began to win.

They won their last three regular season matches to finish third in the Western Conference.

They won an insane play-in round match against Kansas City that went to twelve rounds of penalty kicks after 120 minutes.

They comfortable disposed of the Vancouver and Dallas sides that had finished above them in the West.

Then they won the championship match.

Both Portland's professional soccer teams have now won their leagues. Within two years of each other. Both teams will now wear the star above the club crest that forever shines as the sign of a championship season.
I have to confess something here.

I'm not a big fan of "playoffs", in any sport. My feeling has always been you play a sports season to decide who's the best. You win the season, you win all the matches, you win. You're the champion. That's it. No frigging "wild cards", no "play-ins", no gimmicks. Play the games, win, that's it.

But boy friggin' howdy am I glad that the outfits that run American soccer don't think like I do.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Sherman's March

I watched the Seattle-San Francisco football game this past Sunday. I watched the whole thing through the final whistle so I got to see Sherman, the Seattle right corner, make a hell of a play to send his team to the championship game, and also enjoy his hyperkinetic rant after time ran out and some sideline reporter was stupid enough to jam a microphone in his face.


I didn't have the same reaction my friend Labrys had or, frankly, that Charles-whose-wordprocessor-I-am-not-worthy-to-reboot-Pierce had.

Because I used to play soccer goalkeeper.


Because of that I completely understand exactly where Rich Sherman was that night, and, no, I don't think it had anything to do with brutality (and, yes, it is a pretty goddamn brutal sport) and, no, I don't think it had anything to do with racism or being an uppity Negro (and, yes, he was rude and loud and obnoxious, and in this country if you're black that will earn you a pantsload of ignorant racist bullshit).

It had to do with playing on the side that doesn't have the ball.

Attackers, whether they're soccer strikers or football receivers, get to do one particular thing that we football cornerbacks and soccer goalies don't and usually can't do; they get to score points.

In most sports let's face it; that's the fun shit.

That's the glory noise, the big news that makes the headlines and gets you on cereal boxes and into lucious television contracts. How many cornerbacks can you think of sitting in the ESPN booth right now? Kasey Kellar is the only keeper I know of that works the booth and that's largely because soccer in the U.S. is frankly weird and keepers are often the only player most Americans outside soccer fanatics actually know.

But playing offense is a self-licking ice cream cone.

Any sports nut can tell you how many points so-and-so scored, how many assists, how many yards he ran for or threw for, how many goals he scored. Any casual fan remembers the quarterbacks and the receivers, the strikers and the wingers, the goal-scoring centers and the point guards.

Who the hell remembers whose tackle saved a sure goal? The stick save, the deflected pass, the steal? Who recalls who batted the possible winning touchdown pass away for the interception that saved the game and the conference championship?

I'll tell you this; they'll damn well remember who did that for Seattle in 2014.


But it's more than that.

Defending is about plain and simple defiance.

It's about raging and hating to lose. It's about pure anger.

It's personal. It's about wanting to ruin the other person's day.

Stopping his best shot. Tackling him when he's got a clear run at goal and stripping the ball off his feet. It's about getting out to full stretch and palming his sure game-winner around the outside of the post. Pushing his slam-dunk back in his face. Sending him to the ice with the puck skipping away.

Sure, you saved your team the points, or the game. But other than that what's the reward for this hard work?

I'll tell you.

It's looking at the striker's face, seeing in that quarterback's eyes, the knowledge that you bested him. That he gave you his best shot and you were better. That he came straight at you with all his skill and strength and you slapped it down like it was a little baby's patty-cake pat. It's watching his sad little face get all puffy and red, watching him watch you with cautious hatred, and loving the feeling that you crushed his hopes and blighted his dream.



We all feel that way.

Sherman just said it.

I know, because of the night the striker on the team sandbagging down to our sad, low co-ed Division 4 level ran in on me as I collected the ball on the ground and kicked it straight back into my face and broke my nose.

(Then had the gall to complain to the referee that I was bleeding on the field.)

So after I stonewalled the sonofabitch the rest of the match - making save after save to deny him the win he so badly wanted - I walked up to him with the bloody twists of paper sticking out of both nostrils and got right in his face and smiled.

He shoved me and I cocked a fist and both teams jumped on us and hauled us away.

And, broken nose and all, I was a happy man.

Because I owned his sorry ass, and he knew it, and I knew he knew it, and that knowledge filled me with joy.

That's a very low human emotion, I'll admit, but that's the sort of thing that builds good defenses.

And empires.

And to make this about race or civility or something like that is just silly. If you did, or do, you really need to borrow my gloves and go get between the posts and I'll hammer some shots at you and dare you to stop me and we'll see how you feel about that.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Love and loss

Wintertime in the U.S. is usually a slow time for soccer players and soccer fans.

We gather in clusters like starlings around the soccer websites to argue and speculate and fantasize about our teams, while they do some workouts or hit the trainer's table to work out the bruises and tears that playing has beaten into their legs.


Not today, though. Our Portland Thorns had one hell of a busy Monday today.

Well, actually, they've had a very busy autumn and early winter; you can read about all the goings-on at the new Slide Rule Pass website, here. I have a new post up there talking about the surprising number of changes that have occurred in what is, after all, a championship team.

Typically sports teams are no different than politicians or armies; if they win they usually aren't much arsed about changing things up. Perhaps a tweak here or a nudge there, but otherwise? No.

The Portland women's soccer team, however, has seen some fairly big changes over the four-months-and-change since lifting the ugly-ass National Women's Soccer League trophy, and today was more of the same.

First, the team signed the German national team goalkeeper, Nadine Angerer.


The keeper we had, the player in goal for the 2013 Thorns, was a wonderfully energetic young woman named Karina LeBlanc who plays her international soccer for Canada. She was Portland Thorns from the top of her bright red mohawk to the tips of cleats on her boots and as such she won the hearts of many in this town, including it must be said, my own.

She just seemed to live inside a world shot full of life, and energy, and love for her sport and everything around her.


That said, as a 'keeper she was not perfect.

She was caught off her line several times during the 2013 season. She seemed to have problems with "distribution", which is a fancy way of saying that when she had the ball in her hands or at her feet she had trouble getting it to one of her teammates.

Perhaps the single biggest issue was not so much about her as about the Thorns defending as a unit; more often than not the Thorns defenders seemed disorganized, unsure of what to do, who to mark, where to go and how. That's a big part of the goalkeeper's brief. She can see the entire field from her goalmouth, and most keepers are expected to organize their backline.

Angerer is known as a very good organizer and tactician on defense.

So, given what happened last season I'm not surprised that the Thorns signed Angerer or, once that deal was done, traded LeBlanc to the Chicago Red Stars for a draft pick in 2015 - a return so small for a starting keeper as to be practically insulting and suggesting that the entire business was part of a backstairs deal that got Angerer to Portland at the price of shipping LeBlanc to Chicago.

On a sporting level this deal makes excellent sense; Chicago sent their keeper to the expansion Houston team and then, in return for not contesting Portland's signing of a new keeper, gets Portland's old keeper. Keeper for keeper for keeper and everyone's happy.

Except...that a lot of people here in Portland genuinely liked, enjoyed, or loved Karina, forgetting that she was a playing piece on a playing field.


Until today.

I know I've said this before, but if sport has any value at all it is as a distillation of human spirit. Sometimes the spirit is the exhilaration of achievement, often it is the grim disappointment of failure.

Today the sport reminds us that anytime we love someone, or something, Fortune holds it hostage against us. If we do not love we cannot lose, and yet we must either choose to love or protect ourselves by not chancing the loss and, in effect, forfeiting the gains of love. Love and loss; for in life as in sport the end of the story is always the parting of ways, the terminator of delights, and the separator of companions.

And yet, if we do not love, what value do we gain?

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Let no man put asunder

Although you probably don't know this (and, I'm afraid, could probably care less; of all the posts here my soccer stuff draws fewer views than almost anything else outside of, well, anything. Hell, even my cat stories get more action) a lot has been happening to our Portland Thorns FC professional soccer club, current NWSL title-holders and defending first-season champions.

First, one of our defenders, Nikki Marshall, was waived back in September, right after the Girls in Red brought home the ugly-ass NWSL trophy (that's it over on the left and, yeah, it's pretty fuckin' ugly...except it looks a hell of a lot better sitting in our trophy case here in Portland. Heh).

Nikki is supposedly playing for our rival Seattle Reign but has more or less flat-out dismissed playing in the league next year.

Then Marian Dougherty, her backline partner, retired to take a real job.
The little-spoken fact of the National Women's Soccer League is that there are two types of players; those "allocated" from their national teams and those who can't make an honest living from their sport. Rumor - since the league is extraordinarily close-mouthed about its pay scale - says that the non-allocated players make as little as six or seven thousand a year from their playing gig. That's chump change for a good player but pretty typical of most sports, and in particular the NWSL has chosen to try and avoid paying out anything in order to avoid the solvency issues that crushed the three earlier attempts at forming a women's pro league here.


And today the first head coach - the manager, as they'd call her in Britain - of Thorns FC, Cindy Parlow Cone, has resigned.

And for the worst possible reason; her job was tearing her marriage apart. Her husband, John, resigned as the head of the Timbers' fitness staff today as well. Parlow Cone said: “Coaching the Thorns has been one of the highlights of my career. However, due to the scheduling conflicts created by the job, I realized that despite being a great move for my career, it was less than ideal for the health of my marriage - which is the most important thing in my life."

That's a damn hard road to find yourself on, to make you quit your job.

I've been there; not so much quitting my job to try and save my marriage but in the midst of a failing marriage finding myself in that cold iron place where it feels like the joy, the purpose, and the very reasons for living, have been leached out of your life.

You get up and go through the day but find no hope there. The world, and your place in it, seem very fallow, empty of the prospect of a gentler days to come.

This just reminds me of something I've said, and said here, before; that every day we live is a gift we're given.

Not that we will always want that gift. Sometimes that gift is a poisoned one.

Sometimes it is a horror so frightful that we cannot dare look upon it.

Sometimes it is pure joy. Sometimes it is a-tremble with happiness. Sometimes it is top-gallant delight, a delight so sweet and dear that it pierces our breast, a joy akin to weeping.

And...sometimes it is just...another day.

Another and another in the tripping string between our first breath and our last.

Some days are just a day, no better and no worse.

The part that catches in my throat, though, is how carelessly we assume that there will be another, and that that next day will be alike the last, and the last.

But it won't; there's nothing to say that today won't be the end of our marriage, or our love, or our hopes, or our life.

Well.

I could talk more about Coach Parlow Cone, and the Thorns, and what this may mean for the club, and Portland soccer, in 2014. But if you wanted to read about that you'd be following my work over at Slide Rule Pass, and this site isn't that site. I will have more to say about the soccer business side of this over there.

Today, here, I just wanted to remember again that every day we live we are a gift of love; that it's not such a bad thing to hold to that happy day and to work for the next as hard as we can.


Because oftimes it is only when the day draws to a close and the sky grows dark, and the cold wind closes around us, that we look back and remember that happy time and look forward with hesitation or fear, knowing that we cannot go back and that going forward gives us no assurance that we will emerge from the cold and the night.

Monday, March 04, 2013

Sunshine and Shadow

One of the things that always strikes me about Sunday afternoons is how quiet the roads are between my home in North Portland and my workplace far out in the deepest heart of Tualatin Valley darkness.

On weekdays the commute - I-5 South to US 26, up over Sylvan Hill and back down the long slope between the wooded folds of the West Hills to the knotted loop where the Sunset Highway meets Oregon Route 217, and from there southwest on the gentle arc to Progress and the sterile office "park" where my employer has chosen to place us - is a nightmarish, soul-flensing slog.

The traffic is invariably horrible; when I told a friend who had chosen to move to Beaverton that given a choice I'd sooner go to Hell because the traffic would have to be better was not really a joke. It's just a fucking awful drive, morning or evening.



Oregonians are fairly awful drivers in general, which doesn't help. In the passing lanes we dawdle, in the travel lanes we speed. Like sheep, we tend to panic and grow profoundly stupid at the slightest hint of complexity; a highway condition sign which warns of an accident ten miles ahead will slow four lanes of traffic to walking speeds for hours.

Merging does something quiverish and fretful to us. About three-quarters of the roadful will move over immediately upon appearance of the first merge sign, regardless of where the actual lane ends ahead. Those drivers will then pack in nose-to-tail so that when the actual merge arrives merging becomes impossible, and thus traffic will begin to back up from there.

Worse, a scattering of individuals will actively fight against anyone trying to speed forward in the merging lane by half-merging and straddling both lanes to prevent anyone from passing them. So the journey from NoPo to Beaverton is usually slow and frustrating.

But Sundays are different and this past Sunday was no different.

The afternoon was improbably warm and sunny. The dark firs that whiskered the ridges leading up to Sylvan Hill glistened, the clean dry concrete shone. The scattered cars and trucks climbing west from Vista Tunnel seemed to sport with my little Honda like friendly steel and plastic dolphins, glittering and winking with delight at the space and speed we moved in.

On the seat beside me was a sheaf of laboratory paperwork, my old green West Linn fleece and, bundled on top, the green-and-white striped scarf that has accompanied me to the old stadium down by Goose Hollow for many years now.

It was a sunny winter Sunday and the home opener of my Portland Timbers.

I shouldn't admit this to my wife but I usually enjoy working on the weekends. I like having the quiet office to myself, and the time to think. This Sunday I had a slow lab test to run which gave me time to read the pre-match writeups as well as the Atkinson book I mentioned in the earlier post.



I share the sterile office "park" only with our small but savage pack of golf-course geese, whose spiteful indifference to all other less entitled creatures is the equal of a Republican Congressman's. Whenever I ventured out it was into short hissing confrontations with a group of four of the big bastards that had bunkered themselves in the rectangle of lawn that occupies the open area between our laboratory space and the Korean grill in the corner building south of it.

Every time I would pass on my way to and from reading the consolidometer the fat black, gray, and brown animals would fuss and threaten before waddling grudgingly off the sidewalk, the immense tubes of goose shit they voided making their opinions clear about their dissatisfaction with the entire business.

My early quiet afternoon ended as I drove into the big open concrete garage at the rail station. It was jammed with every sort of vehicle, a reminder that the migration of Timbers fans into the city had begun hours earlier.



The Timbers Army sections of the north end of the old shed remain fiercely democratic; none of this elitist numbering of supporters by section, row and seat. "General admission" means that if you want to stand close to the pitch you need to arrive early and stand in line long. For Seattle matches this can mean the full day from sunrise to an hour before kickoff, and the true soldier can be sussed out by his or her ability to remain motionless and yet sentient for eight hours or more.

That, and the loathing of all things Seattle.

One of the pleasant things that comes with this tradition is the unguarded enthusiasm for all things Timbers. Within moments of boarding the train for the rumble through sunshine into the darkness underhill I had made the acquaintance of Mack, Jeff, and Ryan, three fans from the Westside who were headed downtown for the match.

We talked about the team, and the woeful season past, and the new players and new coach as the MAX hissed like a Beaverton gander, rattling its way down through millions of years of Miocene basalt and the roots of an ice-age volcano and out into the watery sunlight of Goose Hollow whose geese, unlike our grass-bloated office park monsters, had been driven out decades ago and replaced by hipster taverns, Benz dealerships and a Starbucks.

The crowds outside the stadium were evidence that the gates were still closed. I had arrived downtown early because I simply enjoy the texture of matchday beyond the match itself.

I love the crowds in their wild variety of colors and designs, the fantastic disarray of people from small children to grandparents, the purposeful randomness of everyone, each on their own pathway to their goal, to the game and the team and their friends or their families. I love the wild rumpus of fans, scalpers, vendors, policemen, and the odd passersby stumping or gliding past through the press intent on who knows what errand elsewhere.



Inside the temporary pen erected around the tram stop the railway inspectors huddle in an officious clump of bright yellow and stern official blue, their commander rapping out instructions for punishing fare-cheaters, her voice stern as an infantry officer issuing an operations order to assault troops.

The bright yellow minder at the exit gate overlooks my raised ticket with a goofy grin - clearly she at least is uninfected with her leader's matchday grimness.

The "dry-hopped" IPA is sweet and bitter in the bright plastic cup provided by Hot Lips Pizza.

Next to the register queue two little girls, each with her identical small green shirt with a club symbol traced out in delicate girly script over her gauzy-skirted princess dress, dance together. The smaller solemnly circles her older sister like a living maypole, first to the right, then back to the left, dancing to a measure that only she can recognize.



The couple in front are both wearing warm clothing above the knee but below the ankles only bare feet in sandals; their toes are pink in the chill of the thin March sunshine.



I enjoy a long sit outside in that pale afternoon light, watching the people and the particolored sky and the high walls of the old coliseum curving away to both sides.

I should really write you a post about old Civic Stadium. It is build over a stream, Tanner Creek, that used to run from the base of the West Hills south of the stadium down to the bottomlands along the Willamette River where much of inner Northwest Portland now lies.

Back in the day Tanner Creek valley was too deep to cross and too wide to ford; wooden bridges had to connect the old downtown to the new suburbs in the West Hills to the west. The only people who seem to have treasured it were the Chinese farmers who had recreated a piece of Shensei Province in the soft canyon soils, and the Good People of Old Portland had no intention of letting Nature and a bunch of Chinks stand in the way of Progress.

So every contractor, excavator, and earthmover brought his load to Tanner Creek and dumped it.

The creek itself was roofed over and flows, forgotten, beneath the roads and buildings of the neighborhood and the very pitch itself; only on the quietest of nights can the curious seeker stop and still hear the waters of Tanner Creek in the darkness of their brick vault rolling vexed to the sea.

There is no quiet above Tanner Creek this day.

The sound of the crowd hits me like a shove to the chest the moment I walk under the gateway arch; thousands chanting, singing, chatting, shouting, the electronic beeping of the doorwarden's scanning guns, slamming doors, pounding drums.

The sound of matchday is noise above cacophony amid thunder.

I stroll down to the South End, the as-yet-unnamed high porch that is part of the newest reconstruction of the stadium.

In the Oughts this was the farthest end of the East Stand, a ramshackle wooden rampart that clung to the west edge of Eighteenth Street like the palisade of a dilapidated frontier fort. You could almost see the sidewalk from the lowest tiers inside; indeed, one of the goofy charms of the old minor league baseball games was that the affable huckster who owned the Single-A ballclub would hire local urchins for pocket money to stage "races" down the sidewalk outside the perimeter fence; a big cardboard rabbit stuck on a tall white PVC pole would be pursued by three cardboard "greyhounds" to the commentary of the stadium announcer.

These races were not without hazard. One evening the purple greyhound was scratched mid-race when his carrier, far in the lead of the other two nippers, must have turned to taunt his pursuers and ran full-tilt into one of the slender but sturdy street trees that line 18th Avenue.

You couldn't see the actual impact from the stands. But the effect was easy to guess; the dog cut-out suddenly stopped sailing along, shuddered, swayed forward, and then toppled slowly out of sight presumably as the tree-stunned yard-ape collapsed in a heap. His little competitors raced ruthlessly past him, promotional urchin greyhound-racing not being a sport for the faint-hearted.

Now the East Stand is a seamless part of the glossy operation that is named for an Oregon window-maker (our local power company having yielded up the stadium; on the highway signs along I-405 you can see that the legend "Jeld-Wen Field" has been pasted over the old "PGE Park". It's called "JW" or sometimes "The Jelly"; many of us still refer to it as "The Civic". Hardly anyone remembers the older name of Multnomah Stadium). Like many of the type, it is all decorator steel and glass and artisanal concrete.



The latest gimmick of the House of Pane is to invite local food carts to cook up their specialities in the concession booth at the south tip of East Stand. Today's is from something called "Timber's Doghouse PDX" and the speciality du maison of the cart appears to be...gourmet tater tots.

I'm drawn to the peculiar notion of gourmet tater tots and try "...tots topped with chantrelle salt, truffle oil, asiago, garlic truffle aioli". When produced this concoction turns out to be extremely salty, violently cheesy, strongly garlicky and mayonnaisse-y slathered over the processed potato congeries, an unfortunate combination of brutal and bland.

It's not that they're so bad it's that they're not much of anything; too powerful for comfort food but too muddled and coarse for genuine delectation.

Filling, though; fortunately the Widmer beer is good if spendy, a nice malty counterpoint to the dry hops of the early afternoon. Carrying my cup back north I fall in with my friend Kurt; we discuss the upcoming match and simply enjoy each others' company before parting; he to swim back into the sea of general admission, I to my assigned seat.

When my friends Brent, his wife Julie, and I choose our spot we decided we wanted to be close to the Army's hooligan array but wanted the luxury of not having to fight for places; we tell ourselves that we're the "Army Reserve" - too old for General Admission, too young to sit down. So although we have numbered seats we don't sit except at the half.

Standing through a soccer match is a tradition that comes from Britain. The old football grounds had few seats, if any; you could pack more bodies in if everyone stood up and the point, as was always the point with the British view of their grubby groundlings, wasn't comfort for the venal workingmen but profit for the owners. So the miners and ironworkers and draymen and chandlers stood on the terraces and sang and chanted their passions, love and hate.

The terrace wasn't and still isn't a place for the faint-hearted anymore than cardboard greyhound racing is. The warriors for the working day weren't going to talk nice about their old enemies. The Toon Army, Newcastle United's supporters, had a song about Peter Reid, the man who managed their rivals Sunderland in the Nineties, to the tune of "Yellow Submarine" that included the delightful chorus "Peter Reid's got a fuckin' monkey's head, a fuckin' monkey's head, a fuckin' monkey's head..."

Well. We don't do that anymore. Not much.

The Timbers Army used to have a broad selection of pretty rough songs and chants; back in 2004 we greeted Lutz Pfannenstiel, then playing in goal for the Calgary club, with the chant "Singapore Prison Whore!" in honor of his 101 days in jail there for match-fixing.



Any opposing player that combines a high level of irritation with a hairless dome (and, yes, I'm looking at you, Conor Casey, bastard) can still expect to hear "He's bald, he's shit, his head is like a tit..." roaring down on him from the Shed End.

But the league is worried about frightening the horses. And the children. So we don't bellow "You SUCK, asshole!" everytime the enemy keeper takes a goal kick.

We gave them that.

But the old stadium still thunders and shakes with us as we build bonfires for Seattle and Vancouver.



I've talked about this before, but it's hard not to repeat it because it's so close to what forms the heart of the night and the place; the peculiar power to being part of a massive single voice, of joining in with everyone around you to try and will yourself onto the pitch, to make your voice and the voices around you a wall of sound to support your team and to press down upon their opponents. It's wonderful and sometimes fearful; it was that sort of power that the Soviets and the Nazis exploited, that sort of power that must have moved our ancestors to join in ritual chants and songs back to the caves. There's a fearful, bestial glory in that power, and one that we don't often find elsewhere in our lives.

Perhaps that's not always a bad thing.

But within the old concrete walls we take it, and shape it, and use it was a weapon to stouten the hearts of the locals and call down havoc on the visitors.

Tonight we unveil the first tifo of the season and it's a delight; our iconic "When It Rains It Pours" Morton Salt supporter girl with her scarf and ball, surrounded by a field of twirling, dancing green-and-white umbrellas.



All we lack is...rain. It's Portland, in early March, and yet the sun is still shining; not a raincloud in sight.

The barren pastel-colored puffs of cumulus drift past overhead like truant children strolling past their schoolyard trying to look guiltless and failing. How can it not be raining?

On the pitch the players jog and stretch, focused on their warmups.



Up in the North End we enjoy a moment of unintended comedy; since ESPN is showing the match one-time US defender and TV B-list celeb Alexi Lalas turns up, corporate in his heavy overcoat looking distracted and much diminished from his Nineties heyday when his wild ginger mane and scraggly goatee made him look like Uncle Sam's cheerfully shiftless dope-smoking nephew.



He twits us mildly, we mock him gently, and both sides part company fairly well pleased with themselves.

We settle into our rituals; the crowd kicks off with the anthem and, painfully, the visitors from New York sing the first ten minutes.



The home side is nervous, jittery, our veteran centerback frantically unhinged as the Red Bulls bomb attack after attack at us. Almost before we know it a horrible piece of defensive ineptitude has us down a goal. Oh, God, we're all to pieces; terrible memories of the Lost Season past come flooding back. Our singing takes on a desperate tone as we try and push away the fear that nothing has changed, that our doom is settling upon us, that unlike the clouds that humiliation is closing over us.

Last season our team would have given up a soft early goal and folded; they lacked something vital, some inner hardness or some outer direction that would enable them to fight back through hardship.

But not last night.



Like lightning from the cloudless sky, midfielder Diego Valeri collects a bounding, rasping pass. He looks as the New York defender charging down on him, flicks the ball up and past him, settles it with his chest into his path and pokes it casually past the onrushing Red Bulls' keeper to level the match.

We go mad.



This isn't the team we dreaded last year; even though they make two more awful errors that have us down 3-1 at the turn. They don't give up, they don't give in. The other terrible sameness from 2012 was our late-match failings. We would run out of gas, ship soft goals late, turn wins into draws and draws into losses.

But not last night.

Instead the Boys keep fighting. Our young centerback Jean-Baptiste smothers the New York star, Thierry Henry, scuffling and tackling him into impotence.

We claw a second goal back. Our big Columbian forward, Valencia, "The Little Train" comes on and begins imposing his force and pace on the tiring visitors.



Our new captain shows he's a harder man than the man he replaced, stalking over to Henry (who is theatrically stretched out on the pitch time-wasting) and furiously bollocking him. Will Johnson is so furious that he even tosses the Red Bull trainer's water bottle carrier over the touchline and bottles spill out of it as if frightened to flight by our captain's anger.

Diego Chara is buzzing everywhere as he does like an angry Columbian wasp. Darlington Nagbe is refusing to fade away as he did last season when he was marked out early, instead pushing up, pushing up, and this is rewarded as he puts away that second goal. The entire team is swarming now, raining attacks on the bunkered visitors.

And finally the tying goal as Valencia collects a rebounding shot and slams it home off a defender's legs.



We roar and leap. The woman behind me fist-bumps her teenage son, the capos' flags whirl in a blaze of color as smoke billows out from the Shed.

The couple at the rail embrace, and as the match resumes we implore our team for a fourth goal, a winning goal, and the entire North End groans as Ryan Johnson's spectacular bicycle kick goes barely a ball's-width wide. A young woman in a green and silver tinsel crown looks up in desperation, her eyes pleading with the scoreboard for more time, imploring the relentless clock to run slower, slower to give us time for a win.


It isn't going to happen. The man in the yellow shirt raises his arm, the long whistle cuts through the singing and the two teams run off even.

Still, the singing continues as the team collects itself and performs its ritual walk around the pitch to the North End. The scorers collect and lift their log slabs, the supporters roar, and slowly the singing fades, the crowd flows up the aisles and the evening ends in a haze of thinning green smoke and hoarse throats.





The ride back up through the mountain is crowded and chatty, the great crowd thinning away just as the smoke thinned out in the night sky, first becoming large groups and then smaller groups, then clumps and couples, and finally there's just myself, alone, driving the little Honda back down the nighttime arc of the highway to my laboratory.

The pavement gleams with the late-arriving misting rain.

The wipers hiss like a fuming green smoke grenade and thump like the drums, and the soft folds of the green-and-white scarf on the seat beside me are still warm from my neck as the bands of streetlamp light and evening dark arch past it.