Reasons Why the Oregonian Sucks #2: The Dead Dog

Last time we were here it was the freaking "death cat"

Today its the dead dog. Here's the story. Basically, one numbnuts has a dented fender. The other has a dead dog. They're both in court. See ya.

There. I've told you all you really need to know about this silly story in nineteen words. But to the Big O, this is PAGE ONE NEWS!! ABOVE the fold (don't be mislead by the picture at top - that's the p.m. edition. The morning edition had a immense photo of the ex-dog all over the cover page with the headline in screamer type at the top.) For a moment I thought that the Trappist monks had bombed Norfolk Navy Base and the freaking dog was their Admiral Yamamoto.

Oh. And this little silly human interest item?

Page 5. I shit you not.

Worst paper in the world. I mean, at least crap like the "Weekly World News" has batboy or pictures of topless girls.

Update 5/29: I found the morning edition with the ginormous picture of Admiral Dogamoto (excuse me..."Cindy"), the dead center of all this Oregonian ink spillage. See what I mean. Jesus, no wonder participatory democracy is dead.

Le Chatte de Mort

Okay, let's start with the premise that most newspapers are crap. Some, mind you, are more crap than others. But give or take a few Los Angeles or New York Timses, pretty much crap.

Now our local Oregonian is usually not the floaty-est turd in the newspaper crap bowl, but today's edition was almost beyond belief. Out in the big, scary real world the U.S. Attorney general was flat out lying to Congress, wars, disasters, cheating cyclists...all these things were happening yesterday. So what's above the fold on today's Oregonian front page?

An article about how if you get fat all your friends get fat, too (or maybe not...!),

Kids slapping each other on the ass, and...

The Death Cat.

I'm serious. No shit, I couldn't make this up.

Jesus wept, no wonder people in general are so fuckin' ignorant.