Return of the Cannibal Plague Rats!

Beware rogue ravenous rats.

"That’s the latest coronavirus-tinged health warning from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as the rodents that have been starved of restaurant leftovers these past two months make themselves known.

In a species evolutionarily adapted to resort to cannibalism during hard times, the CDC is warning of “unusual or aggressive rodent behavior” stemming from their lockdown starvation diet."

Oh My Fucking God.

This is...c'mon, it's been less than a decade since the LAST outbreak of Cannibal Plague Rats - on a boat! - but this time it's with Actual Plague.

So I'm calling it right here, right now, and you better damn well remember I did so because I want the credit when it actually happens:

"Cannibal Rats versus Murder Hornets! This Sunday on SYFY Channel!"

THIS is the sort of entertainment we need during the Plague.

Black (Rat) Sails!

This story is entirely composed of 100% awesome:

A ghost ship carrying nothing but disease-ridden cannibal rats could be about to make land on Britain’s shore, experts have warned. The Lyubov Orlova cruise liner has been drifting across the north Atlantic for the better part of a year, and salvage hunters say there is a strong chance it is heading this way. Pim de Rhoodes, a Belgian salvage hunter who is among a number looking for the Lyubov Orlova off the UK coastline, told The Sun: “She is floating around out there somewhere. “There will be a lot of rats and they eat each other. If I get aboard I'll have to lace everywhere with poison.”

Oh my fucking God; if nobody else is going to make this movie I will personally sell all my worldly possessions to ensure the story is immortalized on film.

I mean, can you just picture the scene where the horde of verminous, cannibal zombie rats come swarming ashore in Leith like some sort of horrible rodent D-Day?

It's just too perfect.