Saturday, August 18, 2007

Night Terrors

Had a fairly rotten day at work Friday retrieved by a lovely evening with Mojo, first at IKEA (our published reason was to pick up more laminate floor) then out for a short one at McMenamin's St. John's. Got home to find the Peep still up, so I read him the last half of his Thomas the Train book and tucked him into bed. Less than an hour later he was crying and shivering in one of the worst night terrors he had in a long time.

This was the first one I'd seen where I couldn't console him. He wanted his mom and nothing else would work. Even Mojo wasn't the perfect answer; he continued to sob, scream, shiver and scrabble around his dark room for ten minutes or so before finally calming and returning to bed.

It's hard to say what is worst about these terrors; the sight of your child in the grip of completely overpowering fear, or the inability to help and comfort him. It's not much consolation that you know with patience and just presence he will finally return to sleep.

Fear - some kind of fear, waking or sleeping, his and mine - seems to be always waiting for us. I hate that truth, but my hate doesn't make it any less true.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Tsuki to ume

Or, as Basho would have said if he'd grown up in North Portland: Moon and plum.

It seems like such a peaceful thing to have in the yard. A plum tree; white with plum blossoms in spring, heavy with somnolent purple fruit in high summer, drifts of sickle-shaped plum leaves on the ground in fall. Friendly low branches for small people to climb into. Ripe, sweet fruit to eat...
...or to throw...
But then there's the night you go out into the backyard and the swarms of fruit flies rise from the ground like the undead in a vampire movie or like realtors off the cash bar at a Republican congressional fundraiser. You gaze in horror at the ground where smashed plums lie in varying stages of decay like Deadites from Army of Darkness.

You smile a sickly little grin, cry for your wife and helpmeet and your beloved child and begin to load the dead cart with plums. All right, you purple screwheads...this...is...my...wheelbarrow!.
The compost bins, mind you, are already weeping purple juice they contain so many plums. It's getting impossible to keep the flies down round them. The thought of more... So the alternative is...plum burial.
--
Yep. I dug a shallow grave out by the potato bed and dumped them in their own little plum landfill. Now safe in a ditch they bide, food for worms.
Faster, son, faster. More plums are falling even now.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Cool Things in North Portland: Sidewalks

One of the things I really love about where we live is that, for Oregon, it's pretty old. Now, admittedly, we're not talking old old, like "Your great-great-great-etcetera-great-Grandfather bushwhacked mine back in 1147 and took all his teeth so my great-great-etcetera..." Out here us yonegs don't have that kind of old. That's for the Vanished People, the Multnomahs, Calapooias and such.

We just have sorta-old. North Portland, we're sorta old.

One cool thing we have around from those sorta-old days are our sidewalks and curbs. The top picture is the northeast corner of North Amherst and North Monteith. I love the iron curb corner, a relict of Ragtime Portland, still protecting the concrete masonry after 97 years.

Of couse, these old corners are nastily inhospitable if you're in a wheelchair (or, more likely, on a skateboard). So to help Portland's sk8trboyz get around, we're replacing them with these:
It's very practical, and much more handicapped friendly...but...well...

I'm pretty conflicted over this.

The other cool thing we have are these - hitching rings in the curb. So when your friends Irv and Bubbie come by they can just ground-tie old Miracle and park the buckboard outside the house, right? Prima, einfach! as my German kamaraden would say. The modern mind finds a way to make even these mundane relicts of the preautomobile age a little bit o' Portland wierdness.

Portland has a lot of great history in her streets - someday I want to find out about the wierd concrete that you come across in places like Laurelhurst and Irvington that has these massive fucking chunks of basalt as "aggregate" in it - who let that friking contract is what I'd like to know - and here's some of it as the sidewalks of North Portland.
For the historically curious - though not about NoPo - here's the City's history of the Hawthorne District, an older part of town but a fun and lively one. We're never going to be Hawthorne, I'm afraid, and I'm okay with that.
--
Couple of side issues I wanted to mention. First, notice the stamped "Kilkenny - Bros 1910" in the center of the bottom picture. These "contractor stamps" were de rigeur, the New Black, of Portland city subcontracting around the first couple of decades of the last century (feels wierd to say that, for me anyway...you?). The City's Transportation Department claims to have a "contractor stamp database" but I think that's bullshit. The link at the bottom of this page - Hawthorne again, go figure - goes to a single stamp that takes forever to load. C'mon, Portland, surely you can waste my tax dollars more creatively than that! Anyway, the City subbed their sidewalk out to private concrete guys, and they "signed" their work as the snapshot shows.
--
The other odd thing is that almost all the stamps around our block are dated in the early teens; 1910 like the Kilkenny stamp, 1911 across Amherst to the west, 1913, the latest are early in the 1920's.
--
But our little house is among the oldest on the block at 85 years. The Sanborn Fire Insurance map shows several others date from the teens. But only a handful. This part of North Portland was still pretty much open fields and woodlots between the street grid in the Teens and Twenties of the last century. Now, there are parts of North Portland - LOTS of parts of all of Portland - that still have no sidewalks today although every lot has a house on it. So what a strange sight that must that have been, on some hot August ninety years past when golden grass dried rustling in the sun and a whistle drifted up from the Cut through the slumberous hot afternoon, to see the empty lots still with the mark of the farm fields that had been yet surrounded by their bright, new, cheery sidewalks, crisp whispers of the busy future still unthought.
I love this town.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Hallway

Our friend Millicent came back from a trip once and opened up her internet browser and went to this page and stopped and counted all the posts.

"My," she drawled, "he sure blogs a lot."

Well, yes.

I like to write. And blogging gives me a reason to think, and write, and hopefully gives others a moment to read, and think as well.

But when I'm not writing I'm often busy working, or raising a Peeper, or loving and working and playing with my Bride, my Dark Lady of the Sonnets, who is both angel and devil, half woman and half spirit and all that I could ask for in a lover, a helpmeet and a partner.


And painter. Oh, yes.
--
All this summer I've been talking about the work we've been doing. And doing. And still doing - it never seems to end. But finally, it did, at least in the back hallway. Observe my inamorata painting over the hideous peach color we found when we moved in. And below her, the vile particleboard "floor" used to repair the fire damage by our cheap and nasty predecessors. She and I and the Peep and his beloved daycare teacher Lilo worked like mad beavers to finish the hallway. And so.

The IKEA wood laminate floor is down. The baseboard and chair-rail in place and everything painted. The masking tape is gone, and the lintels back down.
--
The straight-grain old fir flooring in the hall was originally laid down in 1922 and coated with some odd, animal-based stain - we took it up in the Peep's room and it came up with the paint stripper as an awful, blood-red jelly that clung to everything and stained like mortal sin. Some time later, probably in the 40's or 50's some rough beast slopped down mastic and put down linoleum (I suspect) which was in turn replaced with cheap and nasty carpet in the 1980's. Now the carpet, too, has gone in turn, the underlayment and laminate is in place and the old fir is covered again, to spend another several decades in the dark.
--
Now it's finally done. When we want to imagine the house as it will eventually be we go into the hallway after a busy boy has gone to bed and breath in the new-paint scent and the tidy doneness. There is a hallway there, and an end to work.
--
Hallway
--
Too uncomfortable to sleep,
and too tired not to,
wandering in a half-sleep all night
through the small apartment,
the good leg dragging the bad
behind it like a child
to punishment, the back
stooped, and the head cocked
slightly like a bird's so he can see
with the eye that isn't blind yet
just where the hell he's going
--
if he isn't one of Plato's
souls that walk out to the rim
of heaven, consider him,
at least, the fleshed out
idea, the bodily perfection
of everything they would
have had to overcome
to get there; consider him
the why me, arthritic subtext
of their aspiration, what it is,
as they gaze upon the fixed,
impersonal shining of
the good, the just, the beautiful,
that wanders through the small
apartment all night long

--
from bedroom to hall, from hall
to kitchen, kitchen to bathroom,
the whole time thinking
only of sleep, and how
much longer can he walk
like this, and what will he do
with himself, at night, when he can't.
Alan Shapiro

Vacation, My Vacation...

The lack of postings over the past weekend had a lot to do with the fact that our little gang took the last two days of last week off and went on our Family Vacation. Which, although the whole idea of loading the station wagon and heading out makes me think of Chevy Chase and dumbass National Lampoon jokes, turned out to be a lot of good, clean, relaxing family fun at our first stop from May, East Lake Resort.
The cabin was comfortable and cozy, the scenery spectacular and the pace leisurely enough to suit a couple of grownups with no particular agenda but rapid enough for a Peeper with cars to play with and volcanos to climb.

Rememeber that thing I wrote about parenting and fear? Let's say that scrambling around savagely jagged volcanic glass and up on top of 7,000-foot peaks gives a whole new meaning to "nearly pissed myself"...

But the Peep was a little darlin', mostly saving a few hurricane-force-four-year-old-tantrums. He was Mister Chatty Cathy, though, for some reason, excitement, the whole newness-excitement-difference of sleeping in the cabin and seeing something you don't just amble across at the corner of N. Monteith and N. Yale.

And it is pretty spectacular. Newberry is landscape with the sharp edges still on it - literally, at times. The clinkery pile of Big Obsidian Flow makes you think it was erupted fifteen years ago instead of fifteen hundred.

I think Peep would have been perfectly happy running across the road to look at the deer tracks - which we did at least once a day every day we were there - but we were good little vacationers and went all over the place: up Paulina Peak, across the Big Obsidian, around East Lake (and across, in a rented canoe). Good times.
Couldn't resist this - great glass flow between the a'a clinker.
--
I didn't want to drag the camera everywhere, so there are no pictures of our canoe trip, where Peep trolled for kokanee (well, he trolled - we didn't set the rig deep enough for the salmon, but he got the flavor all the same), of our deer track walks, of our journey around to the hot springs at the south end of the lake. But they're there, in my mind, recalling a very peaceful and happy time.

I wish I had been able to take a picture of some portion of our days, just for the pure visual grace. Moments like...

The steam rising from the hot pools amid the wild mallards resting from a busy day of eating pondweed.


The furled power of the young brown-mottled goshawk that glided down past us trying to take a junco older, smarter and (at least that moment) faster than it.


The quiet morning calm of East Lake with the sun slanting across it, steaming coffee warm in my hands and rich in my nose.
--
The excitement of a little boy discovering the fun of deer tracks (did I mention the deer tracks) and nighthawks and campfires and chunkin' rocks.
--
All adventures have their ends, and so do Peepers. So I'll let his end be the period at the end of our trip. We had a lovely time, got back safe and are ready for more fun with home improvement! So I'll be back soon with...

...the Invasion of the Deck Guys!

--

Be there! Aloha!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Paging Dr. Peep

We told him to take his clean laundry to his room and hang it up...


Okay.

So, anyway, we're still frantically working on the house this weekend and the Peeper is helping as best he can, what with being four and all. At one point we're trying to pick up the place and he comes across Mojo's little medicine box. You know the kind I mean, with the sub-compartments marked off with initials for days so you remember to take your pills?

"Cool!" he says, shaking the box to make the pills rattle. Please be careful, sweetie, says Mojo, don't break my pills.

"What are all these pills?" asks the little health care specialist. "Well, the red pill is a vitiamin to help make my body strong." she tells him.

"What's the white pill?" inquires Pharmacist Peep. "That helps make my head feel better," replies Mojo "so I feel happier..."

The Peep thinks about this for a moment and asks:

"Have you taken your white pill today, Mom?"

Love and marriage...

This is my official congratulations to our friend Bucky and her new aspirant husband, Clive. He proposed to her atop Mt. Whitney. How's that for ro-mantic!?

The Buckster is a total sweetie who has been overlooked before by guys who were (in our humble opinion) total jerks. It's great that she now has someone who sees her for the manicly terrific, fun and funny gal she is. So hoch! hoch! to our newest couple - we hope to dance at your wedding real soon...

I only wish we were closer to them, us to LA or them to Portland. I got to thinking about this as I thought about how different Mojo and I are as a couple than as individuals. We will miss seeing them grow and change in the way couples do, just because of the physical distance between us. And that does make a difference...the kind of person you are as part of a marriage isn't the same as the one you are on your own, and we won't get to be part of Clive & Bucky's growth together. But at the very least we can get them a lovely new rice steamer...