Thursday, February 28, 2013

(Shakes head)

Posted (almost) without comment, the images released with Playtex's "Fresh + Sexy Wipes" ad campaign:

Don't have a beaver? How 'bout this, then, you dirty boy:

And we know how much you like that plump, juicy, delicious peach...

So you mean the whole time the secret to getting all that freaky action was to carry around a pack of those fruity-smelling baby wipe things to swab my junk with? Christ on a crutch, how come nobody told me that when my kids were still in goddamn diapers?!?

I...I...there's really no words for this that these gawdawful ads don't say, is there?


Lisa said...

A beaver? A wood-pecker? And a peach?

I'm speechless, as well. Farewell, subtlety, this common world was not made for ye.

FDChief said...

And I didn't even include the one that had something about a polished knob.

Who the hell thought these were a good idea?

I mean...I love making love as much as the next fella. But...WTF? These are just sqwicky in a way that's hard to evade. Gah.

Syrbal/Labrys said...

Oh, trust me, there ARE words. Simply no polite ones that don't scare older old ladies or children. And possibly the dogs.