Friday, February 01, 2019

I hope you will never know

I see that the national news is full of people squeeeeing about abortion.

Here's the thing.

As the father of a girl who was delivered stillborn at full term, until you've walked that cruel hard road yourself your options are pretty much limited to agreeing that the decision is that of the parents, any family and friends they choose to involve, and their doctors, and then shutting the hell up.

The notion that you, or I, or anyone not intimately known to the parents of the child and anyone they choose to involve, can make that choice for them, or should? It would be insulting if it wasn't so vile as to be beyond insulting.

No one aborts a pregnancy for fun, or out of carelessness, or without deliberation and grief.

Abortion, like adoption and stillbirth, is simply a tragedy.
Had I known what would happen to Bryn would I have advised my wife we should end her pregnancy early? Before she had two hundred and fifty-odd nights lying listening to Bryn's heartbeat? Before she spent days and weeks and months hoping and dreaming of a future that would only be dust and ashes and even, to this day, pain and grief keener than the sharpest blade?

Hell yes. I would.

If that makes me a murderer in your eyes, stand over the corpse of my daughter.

And tell me how much worse that could be.

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