Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Fat-bottomed Girls

One last thing I wonder about.

Does this woman look "fat" to you?Her name is Meghan McCain, and she is the daughter (I'm sorry to report) of John McCain, though I have no idea if she is the child of Crash and his Stepford Wife (a.k.a. The Second Mrs. McCain). Doesn't really matter.
[Although, let me state for the record: Yikes! That's scary! One of the few things I respect about McCain is his willingness to approach that face unclad. I couldn't do it without my testes clambering to re-ascend into my abdominal cavity like Italian infantrymen escaping Caporetto...]
So, anyway, someone called Laura Ingraham, who is described in this article as one of the "conservatives never reconciled to John McCain", upset that Ms. McCain bitched about shemale pundit Ann Coulter being a train-wreck public face of the sneering, pompous, self-satisfied asshats that populate the GOP "leadership" (if by "leadership" you mean "handful of crazed fanatics attempting to suicide-bomb their own compound because their party isn't as fanatic as the 12th Century Inquisition or as heartless and larcenous as the Sheriff of Nottingham"), responded by hammering young Ms. McCain with Fat Girl jokes and similar juvenile coprolalia.

I'm perfectly fine if Republicans want to feast on each other's flesh; they've had enough of everyone else's the past eight years, it's only fair that they consume some of their own, frankly.

But how in hell is this woman fat?

And more to the point, WTF? I mean, there's FAT; dangerous, scary, heart-attack-fat, stroke-fat, joint-failure, hip-breaking fat. But short of becoming a medical problem or forcing you to look like an utter dork meeping around the Safeway in one of those little electric carts, what's the problem with a little...extra?

If I were to admit to an erotic attaction to standard-issue 2009 GOP conservatives, which to my mind would be like sleeping with a hostile alien species determined to exterminate the human race, I would have to admit that I find Meghan McCain VERY attractive; very feminine, very oomphy, very...sexually desirable. Certainly much more so than I find Ms. Ingraham:who appears to be not only a fine example of an authentic smugly Bush-luuurving dominatrix but looks to fulfill every quality of my old Ft. Bragg buddy Alfie Castello's warning about sleeping with a certain type of skinny blonde: "They're entitled, they're edgy, they'll get you in trouble and laugh as you try and talk your way out of it. Their hips are so bony that it's like making love to a sack of old razor blades. And you KNOW that they love themselves more than they'll ever love anyone else."

So aside from the nasty little woman's generic juvenile idiocy of mocking someone because they're chubby, aside from the question of whether anyone should be mocked for being chubby...how in hell, in what kind of fucked-up society, can the woman in the top picture be derided for even being chubby?

I don't get it.

20 comments:

Lisa said...

I am absolutely with you. Meghan is zaftig, and that is womanly. The great masters did not model Twiggies, as that sort of bullemic look would have been considered sickly. Still is, IMO.

I love the description of Ann Coulter as a "shemale" (snicker, snicker.) That is one ugly woman, throw all the bleach on her hair you will.

There is something nasty about the majority of my sisters -- something petty and competitive. They are warped about being the "best," the "prettiest", and compete like wolves amongst themselves. No wonder men find them so foolish.

I have found very few women I truly like, because of this shallowness and competitiveness.

Fasteddiez said...

Chief:

She is fat in relation to those scrawny, witless, Oxycontin partying harridans: Ingraham/Coulter, as Lisa has generously pointed out.

As the saying went during "L'Ancien Régime," Like fucking a bag full of antlers.

FDChief said...

Lisa: I'm sorry to hear that. Guys, for all that we can be sinple, loud and stupid, are usually not that kind of vicious.

FE: That's a good reason to pass by on the other side of the road. Ouch.

Lisa said...

Fasteddiez,

I love that descriptive, and I love that real men do not mind a bit of womanly flesh on the bones. As the Mexicans say, the bone is for the dog; the meat, for the man.

Chief,

That is one of the things I like about men. They can play cutthroat at the board table, but they know how to slap each others back and go for a beer, too. They seem somehow more comfortable in their own flesh.

Because women have traditionally had to gussy up to be "selected" by a man, they are weak and have learned to excel at the petty arts. Alas.

sheerahkahn said...

"I am absolutely with you. Meghan is zaftig, and that is womanly. The great masters did not model Twiggies, as that sort of bullemic look would have been considered sickly. Still is, IMO."

Forgive me Lisa, for I'm about to make you smile....

"Bones are for dogs, meat is for men!"

:]

Chief,
I'm cheering for Meghan, and if she can stuff the loathesome shrill-boxes of the Right back in their coffin then she'll have served her country with the same distinction as every soldier and government employee.
Her's is an epic fight and it is not going to be easy to put down two wanna-be dragons, b*tch-slap back to reality an entire party that has lost its way in regards to the Constitution and what it means to be an American, keel-haul common sense into the further reaches of Right Wing space the power hungry cabal of Religious tyrants, and all the while maintaining a level head without looking like a medusa on steroids...yes, I'm referring to fact that that kind of effort could turn any beautiful young lady into an Anne Coulter.
I'm cheering for Meghan, and so should you.

Lisa said...

Sheerakahn,

"that kind of effort could turn any beautiful young lady into an Anne Coulter" -- No!

A harridan like Coulter began that way. A lady could never morph into that shrill being, not even if they went through some sort of Star-Trekkian transducer. Never!

Publius said...

"As the Mexicans say, the bone is for the dog; the meat, for the man."

Well, Lisa, since you started with that Mexican pig male expression, I'll give you the classic American pig male counter: "the closer the bone, the sweeter the meat." Which is something, BTW, with which I've never especially agreed.

I think Ms McCain looks just fine; I like the term "zaftig" and agree with the "womanly" description, which is something I'd never say about Ann Coulter, who with the obvious silicon enhancements, looks kind of like an aging porn star.

Women are a great mystery. It's disheartening to see Lisa's rundown of her sisters, but inasmuch as it agrees with what I hear from my wife, daughter and other women, I guess it's true. Too bad, because women are actually, in many respects, the superior sex. They must be: they haven't fucked the world up the way we men have.

My experiences have kind of convinced me that one area where men might be superior to women is in same-sex relationships. Pigs that we are, we usually manage to reach an accommodation. Maybe it's because we know we're pigs and we're comfortable wallowing in the same sty with other pigs. I think it was Bernard Shaw who observed that one similarity between men and women was that they both preferred the company of men.

I've never known a woman who could tell a good dirty joke or was what might be termed an accomplished raconteur. Most men think women take things too seriously and are too grim about life, failing to see what a cosmic joke it ultimately is. And, IOTM, it may be because of all of that "giver of life" business. I don't know, but I do know it will always remain a mystery to me.

Lots of things will always be a mystery to me. Like why I can't improve my golf game. But I sleep well at night. Which is another difference between men and women: the overwhelming majority of those with sleep disorders are women. Maybe because they feel guilty about dissin' their sisters. It's certainly not out of guilt for hassling men.

Lisa said...

Publius,

Yeah, the Coulter looks like an aging male porn star, at that.

The classic "female" energy is depicted as nurturing and accommodating. Biologically, that makes sense: the survival of the offspring are enhanced by gaining a protector/provider. Accommodation comes in handy. This is also a quality that helps make great statesmen.

But on a personal level, women are vicious -- perhaps moreso than men. They have honed the art of manipulation. Sadly, many men become cynics after going through the mill with a skilled practitioner of this craft.

Women are no mystery: they want what they want. They differ from men, who also want what they want, in that they will doggedly, craftily, go about achieving it, whereas men who meet with resistance will usually just go to the next watering hole.

I don't think men are "pigs". In fact, I have been treated as a lady by most. They are just clearer about their sex drive, and testosterone is a mighty powerful hormone.

Most women are too serious, even when they put on the Cindy McCain grimace/smile. The Barbies do take themselves too seriously. Life is a constant horse race for them, and they are only growing less competitive by the year.

It may be biological -- always scanning for a nest. Some older women lighten up, but those who have not enjoyed a robust sex life stay twisted... (no femiNazi here!)

Women are neurotic, but that may be largely a cultural overlay. A recent study shows men sleep better with women, regardless of the fitness of the relationship, but only women who are truly happy with their men sleep well. Maybe a lot of women (people) are living lies.

I doubt women feel much guilt over their poor behavior, and sorry my sisters razz you ... couldn't be something about you, could it? :)

FDChief said...

I will have to step up for my gender here and say that we're not all good fellows. A vicious, sneaky, conniving man is usually lower and meaner than his female counterpart.

But on the whole I agree that - I think you said this, Lisa - men are dogs, women are cats.

We bark and growl when we're angry, wag our tails when we're glad, eat and sleep and fuck anything we can and are generally pretty damn well pleased with ourselves and the world around us. When we're not, you can pretty much tell.

Many women are pretty damn cat-like. They keep their own counsel, look after themselves and view the rest of the world with the assessing eye of a born predator. Rivals are to be eviscerated, prey dispatched.

And, like cats confronted by dogs, they have had to learn circumspection and stealth around us, usually at the school of our own ignorance and strength.

I genuinely enjoy the company of women. I like the way their monds work; different from mine in some ways, similar in others, but always with a slightly different perspective. I like the variety of their appearance, some straight, some curvy, some very yang, some very yin, many a mixture of the two.

Rick98C said...

No, she doesn't look fat... except in the bazoombas and that's a fine thing....but
...... the thing is that if you don't put on that extra 5 pounds you'll never put on that extra 10 and on and on to morbid obesity. Too many people nickel and dime themselves into the nightmare of obesity and then for most it's too freaking late.

I know a lot of people in major denial about the weight thing, and for every peson I see that is scarily thin, I see about 300 that are scarily fat.

I've been a cardiac RN for almost 8years now and Houston we really do have a problem/

Just saying...can't help it... the horror....the horror

Lisa said...

Chief,

I do think the cat/dog divide explains things pretty well. Cats will stay as long as there is a nice bowl of cream, but if the neighbor has better, they're usually off like a jackrabbit.

The poor hound will stay even through abuse, faithful 'til the end. "When a man loves a woman. . ." Are men simply not clever enough to catch on? Mind you, there are the players of both sexes, but generally, I find women are pretty designing. Alas, my mother never trained me in these fine arts.

Rick98C,

I'll bet you see a lot of self-imposed bodily torture. Truly a pity. I wonder why the scourge of morbid obesity in our land?

mike said...

When younger, I always liked the "closer-the-bone-the-sweeter-the meat" dictum noted above. But as I have aged and spread, so has Mrs Mike. She is now plump and no longer 100 pounds soaking wet. But she is still a knockout in a grandmotherly way.

And Lisa, I disagree with the nasty, petty, over-competitive syndrome that you mention in women. Only one nasty-girl I have known comes to mind, but she was nasty to the boys (maybe we deserved it) and not to her sisters. Perhaps I am sheltered.

Coulter and Ingraham are in a different category altogether. Their nastiness appears to be non-gender-specific aimed at any Mr or Mrs or Ms that is not politically correct in their view. But the main reason I believe is they both realize that nastiness sells. There are big time bucks to be made as Female shock-jocks!!!!

sheerahkahn said...

"I'll bet you see a lot of self-imposed bodily torture. Truly a pity. I wonder why the scourge of morbid obesity in our land?"

What is the cause...four words.

High.Fructose.Corn.Syrup.

My wife and I a year ago started boycotting anything with HFCS in it and when we started looking at the ingredients of all the foods we bought...pretty much everything processed has HFSC as a basic ingredient.
So, we've cut out so much of the stuff we used to buy because it has HFSC in it that we found...yikes, there ain't much left to choose from.
We also stopped drinking juices too, look at the sugar content of those things...omg, there is some serious sugar content in those little things of juice.
Odwalla?
Shitloads of sugar. Might
as well be a regular coke for all the sugar in it.
And I like Odwalla too.

btw, Harridan?
I dam near spewed my tea on the screen...rofl...I have only once come across that word and that was in a book I read...oh geez...way back in highschool.
I can't even remember the books name...but for some reason as soon as I read "harridan" I'm thinking, "omg, I know that word...but...where from?"
roflmao!
Thank you for making me laugh so much...you brought a tear to my eye.
btw: I totally agree.

FDChief said...

Rick: I agree on the obesity, but I think that's different from someone who's carrying an extra 10 or 15 pounds.

But even with someone who's really obese...I think it's scary, and sad, and that they are as much in danger as someone with leukemia or Parkinson's. They need all the help and support they can get. But how does it help to laugh at them and call them names? The notion that grown men and women can come up with no better argument that calling someone "fatty" seems to me to mock our self-identification as "sapiens"...

mike: good point about the pettiness of the GOP radio shriekers. The sad part is that it appears that much of the GOP's intellectual content, what there is of it, is being formulated by these idiots.

Sheerah: HFCS. Yep, Satan's sweet temptress alright. Amazing what a little protectionism and some shitty farm policy will do.

rangeragainstwar said...

sheerahkahn,

Isn't "harridan" a great word! (Hat tip to Fasteddiez.) I, too, thought, "I know that word!", but I couldn't have come up with it. Xanthippe, sure, but not harridan.

HFCS is the scourge of this nation. Botanist Michael Pollen called it the "cornification of America." I, too, will buy nothing containing it. It is cheap and inferior. I have complained to Coke and other companies. I will buy a more expensive product with sugar, but never HFCS.

Sodas are no good for us, anyway, but did you know there is a "Kosher Coke" at Passover with sugar only? And a big business running sugar Coke over the border from Mexico. It is sad that America's palates have become so accustomed to artificial, high octane sweetness. It is a plague.

Remember the little 6 oz. Coke bottles? At one time, that was enough to slake one's thirst. Why 32 oz. tubs-o-soda now? I remember the first time I saw some leaving a 7-11 with one in both hands. A stood amazed.

Even my beloved baklava is now made with HFCS! For shame. I scoured the internet and could find only one provider in Long Is. who actually used only honey.

Artificial sweeteners are just as bad, and we know they too may trigger an insulin response. I accidentally drank an iced tea with an artificial sweetener, "acelsulfame-K" recently and developed a headache, something I never get. The label said, "with honey".

I tried my own experiment over the next week, and each time I drank the smallest amount, a headache followed. It is years since I've had a headache. Probably it had a smidgeon of honey, but they are not going to paste "Acelsulfame-K" on the label as a selling point, are they?

mike,

I am glad you have known mostly nice women. As I consider matters, those black widow types of women are probably clever enough to scope out the male population for the most receptive specimens for their venom.

You are probably a nice, normal but smart, non-ego-driven man, therefore, that sort of woman probably went for easier bait.

Lisa said...

sheerahkahn,

Isn't "harridan" a great word! (Hat tip to Fasteddiez.) I, too, thought, "I know that word!", but I couldn't have come up with it. Xanthippe, sure, but not harridan.

HFCS is the scourge of this nation. Botanist Michael Pollen called it the "cornification of America." I, too, will buy nothing containing it. It is cheap and inferior. I have complained to Coke and other companies. I will buy a more expensive product with sugar, but never HFCS.

Sodas are no good for us, anyway, but did you know there is a "Kosher Coke" at Passover with sugar only? And a big business running sugar Coke over the border from Mexico. It is sad that America's palates have become so accustomed to artificial, high octane sweetness. It is a plague.

Remember the little 6 oz. Coke bottles? At one time, that was enough to slake one's thirst. Why 32 oz. tubs-o-soda now? I remember the first time I saw some leaving a 7-11 with one in both hands. A stood amazed.

Even my beloved baklava is now made with HFCS! For shame. I scoured the internet and could find only one provider in Long Is. who actually used only honey.

Artificial sweeteners are just as bad, and we know they too may trigger an insulin response. I accidentally drank an iced tea with an artificial sweetener, "acelsulfame-K" recently and developed a headache, something I never get. The label said, "with honey".

I tried my own experiment over the next week, and each time I drank the smallest amount, a headache followed. It is years since I've had a headache. Probably it had a smidgeon of honey, but they are not going to paste "Acelsulfame-K" on the label as a selling point, are they?

mike,

I am glad you have known mostly nice women. As I consider matters, those black widow types of women are probably clever enough to scope out the male population for the most receptive specimens for their venom.

You are probably a nice, normal but smart, non-ego-driven man, therefore, that sort of woman probably went for easier bait.

(I removed the previous comment as it was inadvertently sent from Jim's identifier.)

Fasteddiez said...

All,

My better half and I use Harridan, all the time, here in my Califas Casa Wolfschanze.

When she gets in my shit for studiously avoiding some Honeydo house drudgery, I typically say, while smiling, of course, "Is there any fucking way you can cut me some slack with your harridanesque, penis shrivelling tirades!"

You have to smile, that is the key!!!

mike said...

You are a lucky man Eddie. Smile or no, Queen Califia would not stop with a shrivel after that outburst. She would turn you into a(an?) eunuch.

sheerahkahn said...

FastEddiez,
Brother, I shared that with my wife, emphasizing the "smile" part, and she cracked up. Then she said, "don't even think you can get away with that, smile or no smile."
/gulp
Yes'm!
rofl!

Big Daddy said...

I'm a little late to the game here, but I got behind on the blogroll. On to the point, Laura Ingraham's vitriol highlights the intellectual vacuum on the right where the only response to Meghan McCain telling the the truth about Ann Coulter is a playground taunt.
When it comes to Ann Coulter, I think Henry Rollins really said it best http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgSBhlw-o9E