Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Utinam journalis et Norks et North Carolina et fuckin' omnes sed(autem) unam cervicem...

I don't know why, but today's immense mountain of stupid is immensely depressing.

I'm not sure which particular item pushed me over the line.

Was it the State of North Carolina declaring the right to establish a state religion? (And to think that we could have just let the dumb fuckers secede, but noooooo...)

Was it a man who is paid as a profession educator suggesting that as long as the rapee is unconscious the rapist should feel free to "reap the benefits"?

Was it the statistical data that indicates that somewhere between one fifth and one third of my "fellow Americans" fall somewhere intellectually between "utterly fucking batshit crazy" and "dumber than a stump mating with a bag of hammers"?

Was it the usual idiot news media panicking over the usual idiot North Korean bluster without realizing that they always do this, and our media always falls for it? Honestly, it's like the fucking morons are playing tug-of-war with a dog and wondering why the dog won't stop first.

Or was it the people - presumably the same 28% who still think that there's a secret UN conspiracy to take away our precious golfs - who were so utterly gormless as to confuse a 25 pound, 18-inch long housecat for a 120 pound, five-foot long cougar?

I honestly don't know for sure.

But whatever it was, like the Emperor Caligula, it makes me wish that all these fucking idiots had one neck so with a single stroke I could rid the world of them.

It's bad enough that I've finally had to call the Dove Lewis guy to come out to give the Little Cat her quietus (it was either that or declare the Fire Direction Center a solid waste treatment facility). But when I think that that harmless little moggie will be gone before the sun rises Saturday and yet all these goddamn blockheaded, ignorant, selfish, greedy, shortsighted, mewling, puking, festering soulless moronic waste products of humanity will be here to see it I just get pissed off.


EGrise said...

I'm so sorry, chief. Me and the missus have been there too, and it sucks. Just spend as much time with her as you can, you'll both be glad. Thoughts and prayers and all that good stuff to you and yours.

Leon said...

Sorry to hear that Chief.

I do sympathise with you, I look at US news and wonder how the non-crazy half still want to live there. I mean Newton has resulted in cut-backs to gun control legislation. I've never seen a nation with a more adolescent love of guns than the US. You're like screaming girls at a Beatles concert.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I am no the only one wondering whether taking St. Johnswort will counter the creeping depression over the lack of functioning brains in my country.

I want to take a large Kantian sledgehammer to that moron who thinks a drugged rape is no harm, no foul.

Syrbal/Labrys said...

P.S. That Anonymous was me, it suddenly posted as I tried to type in my url and name.

Barry said...

Sorry about the cat, Chief.

Talyssa said...

Haha the first section of this post was hilarious. And I love the pictures as well. If your emotion wasn't already conveyed through your writing, the pictures definitely were the icing on the cake.

I know what you mean about the North Korea stuff though, we get it here even in Australia, and what makes me laugh is when the media always talk about the missiles aimed at South Korea and America and how they could also potentially harm's just no they wont, Australia has nothing to do with this, North Korea don't give a flying fudge-muffin about Australia, stop trying to cause a sense of panic or whatever they are trying to do with those ambiguous and highly sensationalised statements!!!

Lastly, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat :(

Lisa said...

I'm very sorry to hear of your kitty's leaving you, but you are doing the right thing. She knows you loved her, and that all of your moves have been for her, and that's what matters now, her well-being. The kindest cut often feels terrible.

The disgusting human pictures are truly revolting. I shall have to purge them from mind before bed.

WDMX said...

Hey Chief, sorry to hear about your cat.
I had to take my good old guy to Dove Lewis last weekend for his final ride. Hurt like hell, but the DL folks were kind and compassionate.

Though the circumstances of the visit were sh**ty, it was good to be reminded that not everything is powered by stupid. I'm gonna try to remember that on a daily basis.

Pluto said...

We lost both cats in rapid succession after 15 years so I understand your grief, Chief. We went a little crazy and got a couple of kittens to comfort us.

We have been well comforted but the house has achieved an even higher level of disarray than before. At least the kittens seem happy.