Tuesday, September 02, 2008

A Brief Palinesque Thought Between the Lines

And speaking of what happens when you leave religion and government alone in a drive-in movie to fool around, among the tit-bits I've been reading about the next GOP-VP candidate there was this:

"Her religious mentors in Alaska are genuine End-of-Days lunatics, and Palin has offered modest endorsement for the view that creationist superstition should be granted equal time in high school science classes."

To which, as a geologist, scientist and former public school science teacher I can only add: "Yowza!!"In fact, the hell with mere "creationism" ("intelligent design", whatever...), I think it's time to add, not just the been-there-done-that-got-the-T-shirt-Jesus-Hebrew-Bible creation myths to the public school curriculum, but the Muslim trope of God creating Man from clots of blood, the Hindu, Buddhist, Shinto, Jain, Zoroastrian, Sikh, Animist, Wiccan and Papuan-Newguinean creation stories as well as the every single Native America creation tale, the sweetbabyjesuswhothehellthoughtTHISstuffup you get from the Book of Mormon and whatever the fuck it is that L. Ron Hubbard believes in, booga booga Xenu space aliens and all.

Now THAT'll be a hell of an answer to question #12 on the federally-mandated science assessment test, you betcha! No Child Left Behind!

And, when you frame it this way, it sounds pretty damn idiotic, doesn't it?


Charles Gittings said...

Ya well, in reality, these folks aren't even Christians. That's just one more thing they lie about.

Lisa said...


If you betrayed your Inner Sanctum, Illuminati sort of mystical knowledge underlying all of these bizarro myths, well, you'd have some answering to do to DHS or one of those groups protecting the sheeply Americans.

You'd certainly be thrown off the yearbook staff, I can tell you that.

I'm with Charles, too.

pluto said...

I think Charles has got the last word in the discussion on Creationism.

FDChief said...

I do like the idea of pairing the Judeo-Christian creation fables with the Yu'pik's, the Lapp's and the Ethiopian's.

Maybe we can turn high school science into a big Multicultural Creation Fable Class!

I'm sure that the good folks over at Multnomah Bible College'd be OK with that...right?

Lisa said...

"Multicultural Creation Fable Class"-- Really, that is what they all amount to, right? Every creation story is so absolutely bizarre.

God, can you imagine if "Pipecleaner" or "Railing" or whatever household item Gov. Palin has named her daughter, decided to use the "immaculate conception" bit! What a splendid story for any woman with ill-begotten child. It is the Peter Principle (pardon the pun): move up right past the truth, into the realm of impossibility.

Instead of some horny sports chap knocking her up, the very lord himself depositing a sperm packet, a bit like a Midwife Toad, y'might say. Very clean and immaculate, sort of. Except for those gooey egg masses. . .

FDChief said...

Lisa: Yike! I knew there was a reason that I got a D in my Sunday School class.

Kidding aside, the whole "Immaculate Conception" always sounded to me like the kind of story a bright daughter might come up with to get a strict but not-very-bright dad off her butt after she and her novio got a little too enthusiastic making the sign of the two-humped whale...

"But, Dad..! It's GOD's kid! IT was...like...magic! God magic!"

...all the while thinking; "Suckerrrrr..."

Lisa said...

Exactly! Not meaning to be a wicked hypocrite (I allow for kind of an Emersonian "Oversoul," maybe), but if Monty Python had made this stuff up, we'd be howling, right?

Today we saw a bumper sticker which bade, "worship Jesus." To me, that seems heretical, I mean, if one pretends to be monotheist. God is not Jesus, right? Unless you do the Catholic conflation with Caspar-God-Jesus. But that seems a diminution of God.

I see Jesus as bringing the Cliffs Notes version of God to the people, reformulated to gain a following among the slaves. A prophet, if you will, much like Mohammed. Ee gads.

Lisa said...


Oops, I did not mean Mr. Weinberger, rather "Casper, the friendly ghost."

Charles Gittings said...

HERE is a delicious little tidbit.


And a few minor points:

* Most Protestant denominations are trinitarian, and so are the Orthodox flavors.

* I myself, curiously enough, am Catholic. A recent (2001) convert even.

* God isn't responsible for the superstitions of his/her/its fans.

Lisa said...


I have some (few) thoughts on Ms. Palin, and will write them soon.

You are right that God is not responsible for the quirks of his supplicants. The conflicts of the trinitarians, or unitarians, or whatever (all following the constructions of men) do not dismiss the possibility of God.

And as you said earlier about Chief's post, these folks aren't even Christians. Wolves in Christian's clothes they are.